The Godfather...

This weekend was the busiest we've had in a long time. It was also the best we've had in,...forever. I was fighting back eyeball sweat for three straight days.

On Sunday morning, Jake and I went to the airport and picked up his Uncle G. Then we raced on over to the church to get Jake and Brady some religion. We got to meet Cat Stevens..err, Deacon Harry, who performed the ceremony. What genuinely nice guy he was. Anyway, J&B's cousin, Makayla, was baptized first. She did a great job. Not one tear. Next came Brady. Not one tear,...yeah right. He doesn't do well with 70-year-old men pouring water on his noggin(Jarrod, it's not your fault, I'm just glad you didn't drop him). Finally, it was Jake's turn. Up into Uncle G's arms he went. He did a great job. He's an attention hound, so I think he rather enjoyed it. After the pictures and such, we ate, ate, and ate some more. Then Brady ate a handful of icing. Time to go home.

Sunday night brought one of the weirdest culinary experiences of my life. We took The Godfather out to dinner at our favorite Mexican-food joint. The food was fine, Jake and Brady ate their weight in chips and salsa. The usual. The service was bad though. Weird too. All night long our waitress kept disappearing for long periods of time. That was both good and bad. Bad, because we had no water and silverware. Good, because we didn't have to look at her. I had a sneaking suspicion, which was confirmed by G. Turns out, our "waitress", had an Adam's apple. Now, I'm no homophobe, but there is just something unappetizing about all that. Call me crazy. It gets weirder though. While we were walking out the door, I asked the male greeter if, in fact, we had been served by a he-she. Oh yes, he said,"There's three of them that work here." Perfect. Welcome to Arizona!

The rest of our time was spent doing some other stuff, no less important, but I will get into all that at a later time. To summarize, G showed us all how to conquer your fear. Jake and Brady got to introduce him to the Wiggles, and the insanity that ensues. G also got to purchase some piece of mind. My heart is full, leave it at that.

Despite the freak show, our weekend was awesome. I am so thankful the boys got to finally meet their "Uncle" G. Someday, they'll look back at the pictures of this weekend's happenings and smile. God willing, G will be there to tell them about it, oddities and all.

Yard work..

This evening the boys and I went out to do some yard work while Mommy got a break and got a little shoe shopping done. While I was whacking weeds, a dragonfly paid the boys a visit. I know they have seen one before, but never REALLY seen one. Hope that makes sense. Anyhoo, they had the best time chasing it around the yard. I've never seen a dragonfly hang around people for so long. It just kept going in circles, dancing in the air around the boys. I put down the weed-whacker, joined the chase, and enjoyed they heck out of my evening.

Your Mommy

Now I will attempt to embarrass and educate my boys all at once. Hopefully they will read this when they are young enough to find it too mushy and old enough to learn something from it.

Ok, let me tell you boys about your Mom and what she means to me.

A long, long, long time ago(I know...I know Cindy, I am older than you) your Mommy was born. She was the only girl your Grandma-Ma and Poppy ever had. Now, I know what you're saying, "What about Uncle Jarrod?" Trust me, he's a man. Anyway, she was a beautiful little girl. You can see how beautiful she was in pictures but that doesn't do it justice. Just look in the mirror, you'll see her beautiful brown eyes staring right back at you.

Mommy liked to dance and even took lessons so she could get really good at it. She was a great dancer. We'll watch those movies one day, if I ever get them transferred to DVD. As she grew up, she got better and better at it, and danced in front of lots of people. She made your Grandparents very proud of her.

Your Mother was also a smart little girl. She did well in all her subjects at school, especially socializing. She met a little girl named Amanda, and they wanted to grow up and be teachers, and that's just what they did. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

When your Mommy was 13 or so something happened that would change her life forever. She met me! Oh, what a day that must have been for her. To meet someone as handsome and debonaire as me. Gosh, was she lucky. Yeah, right. No, it was me who was lucky. My friend Scott introduced me to her, and I am forever grateful that he did. Scott, wherever you are...well, you know.

Your Mom and I didn't actually start dating until a few years later. We had the chance to become really good friends first. The day I asked your Mom to be my girlfriend was a day I will remember all of my life. Stop laughing..you'll know what I mean one day.

We dated all through high school. She was a high-achieving student and cheerleader. I was mediocre at best in my academic career. Except I excelled in English and History...go figure. Your mom was such a cool girl, I pray you bring home someone like her. I pray for the girl if you don't. Your Mommy is very protective of you.

We graduated together way back in 1995. After graduation she went on to college and I went on to well, whatever. We'll discuss that later. She did really well in college and even made it on some "Dean" guy's list every semester. Whoever he was, he thought himself important enough to make a list of good students.

Then, on Christmas Eve, 1997, I asked your Mom to marry me. Suprisingly, she said,"Yes". We got married a little over 2 years later when I was 22 and she was 21. She was so beautiful walking down that aisle. I got a little wobbly, but you know me, I'm Joe Cool. I kept it together for the most part. We said,"I do" and our life together officially began. By the way, the reception was the best party I've ever been to. Even your birthday parties..sorry guys.

Years passed, we worked..blah, blah, blah...then you guys came along. Not at the same time, but almost. Really. I was never a true believer in a higher power until you guys were born. I got to see two miracles happen in front of my eyes. That was proof enough for me. I'm on board God, whoever you are.

Your Mom changed when you guys came into our lives. Calm down, change can be good. Remember that. She became a Mother, the greatest thing you can do in life. Unfortunately guys, we have to settle for second greatest, but being a Daddy is pretty darn cool too.

Now, you guys can read all about your exploits on these other pages. On to the juicy stuff. I'm going to share with you, learn from it.

I love your Mom. I love her right down to her abnormally long toes. Love is a weird thing guys. It can make you do things. Odd things. Scary things. Beautiful things. It can make you feel the highest highs and the lowest lows. Sometimes you'll feel like you are literally floating, other times like you're drowning. I have felt it all with your Mom. She has taken my hand and guided me through some real rough patches in my life. There have been times when I didn't treat your Mom as nicely as I should have. Times when I tried to turn away from her love. You know though, her love wouldn't let that happen. Her love brought me back and it keeps me here. It will always keep me here. Your Mother has the willpower to move mountains. Her faith is stronger than any force of nature. Don't test it boys, you will lose.

So, that's your Mom in a nutshell. There is so much more to tell you, but some things are better found out on their own. Know this though boys; nothing you ever do, and nothing anyone does to you, will ever stop her love for you. It will be there through the darkest storms and it will guide you to the top of every mountain. Trust in it. I know, because that's how she loves me.

Quality time

So, there he sits. Improvised footstool, the latest ish of Better Homes & Gardens, and the quiet confidence that comes with being able to use the John for it's intended purpose. He's made us hugely proud this last two weeks. Hasn't had one fecal surprise for us this whole time. Now, if he can just master the art of holding his water through the night, we'll be in Underoo territory. One down, one to go.

P.S. Yes, this image has been altered to give him SOME dignity as he grows older.

Pushing buttons

Older siblings always know how to drive their younger associates insane with just a touch. A look. A gesture. Jake has already mastered the art of infuriating Brady. His big move now is asking Brady if he wants whatever Jake has. If Brady says,"Huh", which means yes, Jake will say,"No" and run away. That's always a fun few minutes of action.

Brady is learning to flip the game around though. He'll steal something right out of Jake's hands just to get his goat. He's been known to scream for no reason when Jake gets close to him, thereby activating the, "What in the heck did you do to your brother" alarm. I know he takes silent pleasure in that.

The playing field is leveling out as Brady catches up to Jake in size. I've tried to warn Jake about that, but he'll learn the hard way I guess. Jake still has him by about 9lbs or so, but what Brady lacks in size, he makes up for in tenacity. They are big into jumping off the couch now. I know it's just a matter of time before flying body slams become part of their aerial arsenal.

Do they sell little brother insurance? If so, Jake needs to get full coverage.

Entertainment

Here you see an example of two young boys enjoying a movie whilst snacking on raisins. Notice their contented facial expressions. Their body posture indicates a relaxed physical state. From a superficial stand-point all appears to be well at ease. However, I assure you..all is NOT well.

Lurking somewhere in the dark recesses of the smaller child's mind, is a Beast. An uncontrollable, whirling dervish who dispenses mayhem and destruction like so much candy in an Easter parade. This Beast is the antithesis of pleasant. It writhes and seethes, waiting for it's chance to unleash it's unholy fury.

In the mind of the larger child lives an even more dastardly abhorration. A fiendish instigator, with cunning and guile to rival any 007 operative (especially that Timothy Dalton fellow, what an impostor). He ply's his trade in the smaller child's mind. His crimes travel on a whisper, a dare, a chance suggestion. Yes, it is he, who is able to unleash the Beast upon all who dwell here. The shame and horror of it all.

No not really. Tonight, they were pretty mellow fellows. Monsters, Inc. was very well received for the 3000th time. I am lucky to have them and I know it. Having two little dudes to pal around with is darn nice. I know this much; I was put on Earth to be their Daddy. Nice work if you can get it.

Pardon the interruption...

OK, I know some of you that read this blog are Anti-..Bush, The War, Republicans, Guns, V-8 engines, Fried Foods...Etc. My views are entirely different, but this is not the place to discuss those differences.

What I want to tell you about is a cause that is very close to my heart. I previously wrote about a friend I have who is a soldier. His time at home is getting very short. Soon, he'll go back to the land of swirling sands and hidden danger. I know his Momma will read this so I won't scare her with any more descriptions.

What I need from everyone here is just consideration and maybe, if you feel like it, a little cash. Why money? Why not? It's what Democrats like to do any way right? Throw money at something and it will just magically get better. Sorry, that was a shameless knock. No, what the money is really for is body armor. Our soldiers are getting better armor issued to them, but basically it just covers their chest and back. Their enemy is getting wise to this and exploits the weakness. Basically what we need to raise is around $2100 per soldier to outfit them with top-notch armor. It's not a guarantee against injury, but it's the best we can do.

I know this is a lot of money, but not if everyone chips in a little. Rent a movie instead of going to a theater. Don't Super-size that #1 at McDonald's. Skip a car payment. No, on second thought that's a little crazy. Skip two car payments. Then you can have fun hiding your car from the repo-man, AND help a soldier. Awesome!

If you feel the urge to splurge, just let me know, and I'll tell you how to donate. Either way, this concludes my monthly, off-topic post. The boys are doing just fine. We went to the Zoo today. It was hot, but they had a blast. Enjoy your weekend.


UPDATE:

OK, now I am literally on my hairy knees here. I just got word that another friend of mine has deployed to Iraq. His job isn't AS dangerous, but in all reality there is no safe job in the sandbox. So, if you have some loot burning a hole in your pocket, by all means, drop me line. Remember, just because you finance a soldier's body armor doesn't mean you can't still have ill will towards his Commander-in-Chief. I can't condone those feelings but, you have the freedom to think and speak those things as an American. Just remember who provides those freedoms for you.

I leave you with this...

“Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.”

-George Orwell

He's not sick, he's my brother

Brady did something tonight that Brady does very well. I will explain, but if you just ate something, wait an hour.

You see, Brady has what's known as mild to very severe excitablity. Not ADD, ADHD, or whathaveyou. Just really outlandish excitability. He can swing from laughing his head off to screaming until he pukes. Which is just what he did tonight. In the bath. All over his brother.

Jake was having a rough night, battling some allergies, and he was kinda cranky getting in the bath. Brady took this as his cue to join in and up the ante. So, there they were, screaming, crying, and giving Cindy all sorts of joy. Then Brady took it to levels previously unknown. Blood-curdling is an understatement. Then, he ralphed. There are not many things sadder than a 2 year old getting sick on himself and then on his older brother.

This last part is especially for you Jake. There will come a time when you learn to read, and you will read about this night. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT try and get revenge on your brother. He did not mean to do it. You DO NOT need payback. I love you both very much. No, I DO NOT love one of you more than the other. Stop that!

He shoots...he scores!

A Series of Unfortunate Events...

Here he comes...


There he goes...


Brady is Brady. Here is photographic evidence of why I am losing my hair. In the first picture, little dude is running flat out towards me. In the second picture, little dude is just flat out in front of me. No, I did not anticipate him falling down the berm. If so, I would have gotten a better picture. Accidents happen, but what makes Brady different is he refuses to recognize pain. Unless of course the cause of his pain is young Jacob. After he fell, he didn't say a word, just got back up and ran off again. If I took a spill like that, I would be spewing profanities, cursing the berm, it's location, owners of the property and the Universe in general. Not my boy though. Not my little man.

Linus & Chuck

There they are. The real-life version of the classic "Peanuts" characters. Linus..err Brady loves his blanky. When he's tired or real cozy he also enjoys some thumb action. Charlie..err Jake has a giant head. That's about the only thing he has in common with the aforementioned Charles. Unless Mr. Brown likes to read a lot, then they have that.

Last Days of Summer

This stinks. Our last week having Mommy home. This summer has flown by way too fast. Hopefully, we'll win the lottery like we've been planning on for some time now. Stupid randomly drawn balls. That and the fact you actually have to BUY a ticket to win. Rules are for the unimaginative.

I've got an idea. They should give every tax-payer an entry in a national lottery. Your number gets drawn, you get all your past taxes refunded. Every 20 years you are guaranteed to win once. Or just give every stinkin citizen 20K when they are 18, and say, "This is your retirement fund, have at it junior." "You can invest it or spend it on beer, your choice, but you aint gettin squat at 65 from us." So many ideas, so few based in reality.

Anyway, back to my sulking. Frickin, frackin, shawshank redemption. Having to be a two-income family is for the birds. The boys love being home with their Mommy. It doesn't hurt that she's also a certified teacher. Now, don't get me wrong, we are very lucky to have the services of Grandma Mimi four days a week. Day-Care Centers are what they are, but they're not family. That really makes a difference, at least to me. Still though...waaaa..boo hoo. Woe is me or I. Whatever.

Ok, I feel better now.