Thursday, September 27, 2007
Jake's an Angel
Monday, September 24, 2007
"Look Daddy...I have a new talent!"
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Happy Birthday Poppy!
The bear went over the mountain...
and this...
20 seconds after that last picture was taken, Jake threw up. Brady freaked out at the sight of Jake's Lunchables traveling in the wrong direction. I was just glad the X has waterproof (and puke proof) seats. They are NOT stink proof though. Pee-yew.
That wasn't the end of our fun though...oh no. What should have been a nice scenic 45 minute drive home turned into a 4 hour tour of the State of Arizona. Not sure why, I suppose "they" just like effing with folks on Sunday afternoons who want nothing more than to just get home. I took no less than 3 detours and twice was forced to turn around and go back from whence I came. As a bonus though, I got to talk to the boys about bridges, dams, mining towns, washboard roads, switchbacks, tunnels, man-made lakes, erosion, and remembering that no matter where you are going, always remember Murphy is coming and he's bringing his law with him.
Grateful
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Aunt Linda
I told them all about what she looked like, but now I want to tell them who she was, at least to me. She has been gone for just over 13 years now, but it all seems like just yesterday...
She was my Den Mother in Cub Scouts. I thought she was the coolest for doing that. Her son, my cousin, Mamar (Art now) was in our little den. Along with my buddies Jimmy and GW and some other friends from school. At the time they lived right behind our school. I remember playing on the playground and seeing her house and getting excited to go over there for a den meeting. She always made everything so fun and exciting. We would all cram into the tiny living room and she'd read to us from the cub scout manual. Now, if you've ever read one of those things, it can be pretty boring reading material, but she made it all sound really interesting. She had a way of talking to us, not down to us that really connected with our little scout hearts and minds.
One time, there was some trouble over at Aunt Linda's house. I'm not gonna try and get into the details, because I don't really know them all. Suffice it to say she was scared about someone breaking in or something like that and had armed herself to the teeth. I remember hearing that she had the guns loaded and ready to rock and thinking, "Wow, she is one tough Momma." She really was the mother wolf, protecting her cubs. Teeth bared, ready for anything, like in our books. Just awesome.
She cooked one thing really well, that I can remember...spaghetti. Well, actually she cooked spaghetti sauce really well. It was thick, meaty, a little sweet and 100% awesome. However, she served it over spaghetti that she never, and I mean never drained all the way. You'd always have a little water at the bottom of your plate. Still though, it was the best. I can still taste it. I still miss it.
After they moved out here, me and Mamar got to play on the same baseball team. She loved watching us play. I know Mamar loved seeing her there for the games. Win or lose, she was there. Until she couldn't be.
We had a tournament in San Diego one year. All the guys were over the moon excited for the trip and the games. Traveling to play ball is just awesome. We all rode over in huge vans and stayed in a pretty nice hotel. Aunt Linda couldn't make the trip for whatever reason. I believe it was the first night we were there...that a phone call came. She'd had a seizure while driving and had a minor accident. No one was hurt, but there was no word yet on why she had the seizure. I remember watching my cousin as he got the news. I could see his heart breaking. Not because the tournament was over for him, but because he couldn't be there right then to help her. I felt sick to my stomach. The kind of sick feeling you get when you are helpless to do anything to make a situation any better. For a while there was no news, so while my cousin flew home to be with his mother, we played baseball. The whole time though, there was an empty feeling hanging over me. I wanted to be home, not playing ball.
Not long after we got home, we got the news. Cancer. A brain tumor. I remember being shocked, but not really worried. This was my Aunt Linda. She was too tough to be really sick. That just wasn't the case though. She was sick and there wasn't a damn thing anyone in our family could do about it. It was horribly aggressive and she got bad news after bad news after bad news. She kept so positive though. When everyone was down, she was up. She wasn't about to give up. She was the fightingest woman you ever saw.
At one point she had a fund raising event at a local Cajun restaurant to pay for a new treatment she wanted to try. A lot of people showed up and I remember being really happy and relaxed the whole night. She was the star that evening. Everyone that came in got hugs and thanks and got to spend a lot of happy time with her. She must have smiled the whole night. I was so happy for her. Happy for the whole family. At one point she came up and knelt beside me. She put her head to mine and said, "I'm going to beat this thing. I'm going to see you playing pro-ball one day." I remember staring into her eyes and she was as serious as I'd ever seen her. It wasn't just lip-service, she believed it. We both cried, but they were tears of joy. Hopeful tears I guess you could say. Of all the moments in my life that have rocked me to my core, that one is right at the top.
Not very long after that, after all the treatments ran their course, she passed. When I heard she was gone I couldn't face the pain. Momma came into the living room and asked me if I wanted to go up to hospice with my sisters and say goodbye, but Aunt Linda was already gone and I couldn't deal with that. I curled up on the couch and cried so hard I thought I would pass out. By that point everyone knew it was coming, nevertheless I was completely unprepared. She was just 39 years old. I was just 17.
I was asked to be a pall bearer at her funeral, one of the greatest honors of my life. To deal with the over whelming grief of that day I turned to the greatest comedian in our family, Uncle Vaughn. We shared funny stories about her, jokes she had told, and more than once shared the morbid joke of introducing ourselves to each other as Paul. Paul Bearer. That may sound crass, but at the time we were barely hanging on by a thread. Heck, she would have laughed the loudest at jokes like that.
Her ceremony at church was absolutely beautiful. The Priest, Father Jack, made such an impression on me that years later Cindy and I would ask him to preside over our wedding. He shared such wonderful thoughts about her life and talked about extraordinary things she'd done that none of us had ever heard of. She was a beautiful person and deserved nothing less than a beautiful day.
It wasn't until we walked out of the church that I remember seeing just how many people were there. So many people had turned out. I was standing away from everybody, trying to take it all in quietly, while we waited to drive to the cemetery. I was keeping my composure up pretty well. Trying to be the tough guy. Then, two friends from my baseball team walked up with tears in their eyes and I broke. Like glass dropped on cement. Two guys who before I had never had a deeper conversation with than, "Dude, if you were on a stranded island, what girl would be there with you and why?" There we were though. Standing in front of a church in South Scottsdale, crying our eyes out.
Her burial was again, a beautiful moment. The saddest moment in my entire life, but still beautiful. I stood beside Mamar, with my arm on his shoulder as he wept. We all took turns holding each other up with a pat on the back and a squeeze on the shoulder. When it was my turn to say goodbye, I walked up to her and tried to get out, "I love you Aunt Linda", but I'm not sure it came out clearly.

Throughout that next year, I would go see her all the time. I'd sit down and just talk to her. Baseball hadn't seemed so important anymore, and I let it fall away from me. I could have done the brave thing and given it my best shot, but I wasn't brave. I was beaten. Instead of letting her words inspire me to greater things, I tried my best to forget them. I was afraid of failing, of letting her down. So I took the cowards way out and didn't try. I told no one else about how I felt, just her.
As the years passed, I started going less and less until I just stopped going at all. It was just easier not to go, not to think about that pain. I'm a grown man now, and a Father to two awesome young men and it's time to show them the right way to handle pain.
I promise you Aunt Linda, I will make it out to see you on a regular basis. I miss our talks, and even though I don't have anymore teenage angst to vent, I do have some things we could talk about. And, I know I'm a little old to make it in pro-ball, but I'm gonna give you a good show this winter in some adult league action. I've been away from it long enough, and I owe you at least a good laugh.
I love you Aunt Linda. See you soon.
Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Please Pray
Here is a link to one of the news articles about this tragedy. Others can be found on the Armstrong's blog.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Up late with Jake
Jake, I don't know if you will remember last night the rest of your life but I sure will. I hate to heck that you are sick, but it sure feels good to be able to take care of you. I love you son.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
No Wonder He Didn't Want A Doughnut!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Tired little dudes
Rest up my little buckaroos...tomorrow is gonna be another fun day.
A Day For Mommy and Her Boys
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Where, Oh Where Did My Little Boy Go?
You are so sweet and kind. You share your things and you take your time with your little cousins and your friends at school (and even your little brother most of the time!). I am amazed at how smart you are. Last year on your birthday, I had to read your cards to you, but not this year! You read each one with no trouble at all. You are such a wonderful teacher for Brady as he discovers and learns. You have such an incredible imagination too, Big Guy. I love to sit back and watch you create your own imaginative world around you as you play. I am getting better at learning all of the characters for your favorite movies and toys so I can join in when you say, "I am Wolverine Mommy, who are you?"
I love to pick you up after school and hear Mrs. Dexter tell me all about how well you did in school that day. Not only does she tell me how smart you are, or how creatively you did something (like the time you drank your applesauce with a straw!), but she tells me how patient and kind you are with your friends, and what a good helper you are. It fills my heart with so much happiness to know that you don't need Mommy and Daddy right there with you to help you make good choices and be a good boy, that is just who you are.
You have always been a wonderful son. From the day you were born, you have brought more happiness into my life than I could ever explain. Your sweet dimples can put a smile on my face, no matter how hard things might get. I love it when you ask me to come sit on the couch with you so we can cuddle with the green blanket. You will sit and hold my hand, and remind me that I am the luckiest Mommy in the whole world.
You are a big boy, Jake. You are MY big boy, and the other day you promised me (while I was begging you not to get any bigger!) that you have to get bigger, but you would ALWAYS be my little boy. Thank you, Angel. It won't be long before you are much bigger than Mommy, and if we can keep this very special relationship we have, I will forever be happy. Thank you for being my wonderful son. Happy Birthday!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Happy 5th Birthday Jake!
My boy is 5! Holy Holy! He's grown so quickly. 5 years of smiles, belly laughs, and giant bear hugs. No matter how old you get Bubba, I want to always share those moments with you. You have taught me more about life than I could learn by reading a million books. Keep teaching me, I'll keep learning.
Today was one of the happiest days of my life. Thanks Jake. Happy birthday buddy.
PS...I forgot to post earlier about the actual party. Jake wanted a Star Wars theme this year. So, that's what he got. Cindy and Grandma-Ma made awesome calzones and I fried up some wings. We had a bunch of family over and everyone played ball, destroyed the toy room, watched football, and ate Jake's ridiculously-oversized R2-D2 cake Cindy and I made. Jake again got way too many presents and he loves them all. It was an awesome party that I will never forget.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Puzzling
Monday, September 10, 2007
Ugh.
Hey at least the Cards are on MNF right. Still. Waaahh.
Please God, don't let the boys get this nastiness. Jake's birthday is Saturday. He's about as good as I am at being sick. Waaahh.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
The Price of Freedom
Out with the boys
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Geaux Tigers!

Friday, September 07, 2007
The Dudes
Tomorrow is a new day. Thank God for that. And for Bass Pro Shops where we will be "reconnecting" at some point tomorrow. Woo Hoo!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Shiner
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Slippery Dippins
We went to a little house party tonight at our friends Marty and Jennifer's house. All of the boys' friends were there from our little circle of friends. They swam, slid down the big slide, rode the powerwheels, and played on the swingset. We all got to eat some great food and hangout with people we like. Doesn't get much better than that.
Thank You, Brandon!
Welcome Back
Anyway...thanks for taking the time and hassle to register or log in. It makes me feel safer about putting so much personal stuff out there about my family. Now that it's pretty much just people we know personally reading this, we can be a little more "loose" in the way we post. Yes, I'm saying "we" a lot because I expect Cindy to post more frequently too.
We now resume your normal broadcast day....