Steve Irwin

I first saw this guy probably back in 1996 or so. I was watching TV with my buddy and we flipped on to see this nutty Australian dude, playing with snakes and crocodiles. I was hooked. We would sit and watch him all night. The guy just loved animals.

Sadly, he passed away today and the world will miss him. He was a family man, and I feel terrible for his wife and kids. What a loss. Thankfully though, my boys will have his show to watch and be entertained and educated by for years to come. Say a prayer for him and his family.

Batman

Brady will wear his Batman mask for hours at a time if you let him. He loves it. He turns into a different little dude when he puts it on. A short, fast, masked avenger...that's our B.

"44"

I was given this book a while back by my buddy, GW's, Mom. She said it reminded her of me and my boys. I didn't know at that time what a huge compliment that was. After reading it, her words really touched me and I am forever grateful that she presented this book to me. I liked it so much, I wanted my Daddy to read it, and he did. He liked it as much as I did, maybe more. Quite possibly more, because as fate would have it, we are now in the process of getting this book turned into a movie.

Uhh..What?!?

Yeah, I said a movie. It's something I never thought I would be doing in my wildest dreams. I like movies. Watched my fair share. I've even had a desire to write a screenplay for a long time. But NEVER did I think I'd be sitting here talking about actually making a movie. Life has taken another turn for the surreal. But a really, really good turn...don't get me wrong.

Right now, I can't say too much about it because we're just getting started so...really there's not much to say. I'm talking to a few screenwriters, and a few other people who actually know how to get a movie made. Which helps. If that's what you're in to. Making movies and all. Which apparently I am.

If you want to read the book, by all means pick yourself up a copy at amazon. Or you can go here for more background and ordering information. Or...I might let you borrow it. The point is, read it. It'll do your heart good.

Funny

This video cracks the dudes up to no end. Yeah, it cracks me up too. Grown-ups are funny.

Give it up dude

On a typical day, the dudes will fight over a toy 2 or 3 times. Which often brings tears, anger, and frustrated screaming from them. We do a lot of time/toy management. That has shown to be the most effective way of dealing with these volatile situations. There is almost never a clearly defined "had it first" person. So, whomever has it at the present time, keeps it for 2 minutes and then has to give it up, nicely.

Now, "most effective" only works when we pay attention to them. Sadly once in a while we just don't give the precious little snowflakes 100% of our eyes and ears. Amazingly, there are more pressing matters to attend to than supervising a session of wholesale lunacy. When that happens, we often get what we had tonight;

The boys were playing picnic on the kitchen floor. Had the whole thing set up. Dishes out, food going, condiments...condimenting. Dessert. The works. After about 15 minutes, the food must've run out because they got fully bent at each other. Jake apparently had the pepper, Brady wanted it. Jake wasn't giving it up, so Brady snatched it. Jake swiped it back. Brady screamed, said, "SMACK", then hit Jake in the head and took off running for his room. Jake ran after him screaming that Brady was a bad boy and was trying to hit him back when we intervened. Oh, brother.

So.....yeah, they had to be separated for a while. Ten minutes of alone time in their rooms bought us the rest of the night with no fighting. What a wonder ten feet and two closed doors can do for a relationship.

Awesome

Way to go O.

Mr. Mockery and The Aquaholic

Jake's newest trick is mockery. Well, it's not that new I guess...but it's becoming a problem very quickly. I don't think he intentionally does it most of the time, but he does it nonetheless. Sometimes (read; always) he gets a laugh from Brady so he keeps going. Which is only slightly annoying unless we are in public.

Most of the time he'll just repeat what we say to him right back to us. Bad but not embarrassing. If we are out and he hears someone, especially a teenager say something weird or slightly funny, he immediately turns to Brady, busts up laughing and repeats what they said, or says,"The Guy!"

He's a character that one.

Oh and Brady is officially addicted to water. He cannot be trusted to contain himself around even the smallest amount of the stuff. Puddle on the ground? Both feet. Both hands. Parents not looking for one second? Sneak to the bathroom and pour water on his head. And on the counter, sink, toilet, floor, brother.

Maybe he will be an Olympic swimmer one day. Or, maybe he'll be a Crystal water dude. Who knows? He may even discover a cure for prune hands. One can only hope.

He's a soggy character, that one.

Awwww...

The Dudes. Eat it up.

Phew...

My brain is mushy. This past month has been so nutty I haven't had time to stop and take it all in. I wish I had a pause button I could hit. I'd hit it. Then I'd stop and reflect on each moment that has flown by.

I feel like I need to be taking more notice of everything. Especially the small things. I want to document every little moment I share with the boys. That's entirely ludicrous, but I still want to. I have a fear that I won't remember something that turns out to be important to one of them. I'm retarded like that.

I play the "what if" game way too much. My mind is prone to thoughts of extreme situations and circumstances. Tonight, I read where next year it will cost over 30K to send a kid to Harvard for one year. Sweet fancy Moses. Now, I don't expect the dudes to go to Harvard but again...What if? At this point, all things are possible, and that scares the living hell out of me. I thought I had things all laid out. That's what I get for making assumptions.

Boy's, it is my greatest wish that life be a little more simple for you when you grow up. I'm not saying I want everything laid out for you. Far from it. However, I would like it if you just had to concentrate on a few basic things;

1. Providing for your family.
2. Educating yourself to the world around you.
3. Helping people.
4. Having as much fun as possible.

That's it. That's all you gotta do. Heck that's all I have to do. I just manage to complicate things until they seem impossible. Don't do that. Take the road less traveled and enjoy the scenery. Don't get caught up in your pride because that is the most foolish thing you can do. Trust me, I've been there and got the t-shirt to prove it.

Most of all though boys, heed this advice; don't do everything I tell you to do and don't take all my advice. I expect you to make mistakes. Huge mistakes. Mistakes you don't want to tell me about. That's the only way you're ever really going to learn, and I'm cool with that. Well, not all the way but I can deal with it.

Oh, and never try and put together rational thoughts when you are sleep deprived. That's a big one.

The wise man

11:40PM - Lunch with Mommy in her classroom

11:55PM - March on down to pre-school with Daddy

12:00PM - Kiss Daddy. Say, " See you later". Freedom at last. My own man. No Daddy. No Mommy. No Brady. Woo HOO!

2:30PM - Daddy, Mommy, and Brady come to pick me up. Kisses, hugs, smiles.

3:00PM - Rack out for some much needed sleep. All this knowledge makes me tired.

That's at least how I think his head works. He's a stud. No tears. No whining. He loves it.

Brady and I caught up on some drawing and tickle time. This turned out to be a very, very good day after all.

Dadgummit

That wasn't so bad. Not at all. I kept moving. Tried to look busy. All in a vain attempt to keep my mind from understanding what it was seeing. Jake was fine. Of course he was. He always is.

I am not fine. Today was only a preview, an hour of meet and greet. Tomorrow he's there for two and a half hours. Without me. With some cool ladies and kids no doubt, but without me.

It's not the first time we've left him somewhere. That's not it. I guess parents can understand my insanity here. If not, I would imagine I truly have lost my marbles. I don't want to hold him back but I don't want to let him go just yet either. Such is responsibility. Responsibility is such crap.

Ugh...

Jake won't take a nap today. Probably because he's excited for his first day of preschool tomorrow. I can't take a nap today because I am dreading his first day of preschool. He's excited, even if he doesn't fully get it. But he will, we both will and I think I might fall right the hell apart when we do.

He is not this old yet right? He used to take naps on my belly. I could fly him in the air without a back brace. He'd used to jump on my belly and it would tickle. Now he breaks ribs. He used to roll everywhere before he could walk. Now, he flies and makes swooshing sounds.

Time is getting away from me at an alarming rate. Jake, if I happen to lose my composure tomorrow and run away screaming, crying, and cursing the universe...tough. It's hard watching you grow up. I love you and it's these little milestones that don't seem so little anymore. They are big giant mountains and I have neither the equipment or the training to be attempting such climbs.

Good luck little man. Good luck to us both.

The end is nigh...

The end of summer that is. Today the realization hit me that I haven't updated in quite some time. This summer has been our best on record and I have been busy enjoying it. All of it. So let me give you the hightlights of Summer '06.

Disneyland. It was all we thought it would be times a million.
-Awesomely-short flight over. Jake and Brady ate it up.
-Supercalifragilsticexpialidocious hotel. Location, location, location.
-The dudes had bunk beds. Fun for all. Nerve-racking dangerous fun.
-Way too much food. Somehow though we kept right on eating.
-Way too many things to do. Our legs were sore for a week.
-Rode the cool stuff mutliple times. P.S. the Buzz Light year ride... superb
-Breakfast/Dinner with the characters. Worth the outrageous price. Almost.
-Pictures pictures pictures. Memories fade. Digital pictures don't. Or do they? Hmm.

We haven't gone on anymore trips but in a few months that will change. Besides that, we have mostly been chillin to the max Jack. Eating out. Going to the mall. Watching movies. Swimming in the trusty inflato-pool. The usual stuff.

I don't want this to end but in 24 hours or so...it's done. Well, at least we made the most of it. Next year...Super Bowl or no, I'm going back to Disneyland.

So now a few pictures from our Summer of Summer's. Enjoy.

That's what I'm talkin about

You WILL read this.

Endless Summer

At times, the summer creeps by around here. Too hot. Too tired. Too bored. At other times it flies by way too quickly. However, the last ten days or so have been zoomin'.

A lucky turn of events has occurred and kind of thrown us into a whirlwind. No, we didn't win the Powerball or anything but...for now we can stop worrying so much, about so much. If you have walked in our shoes, or even own the same brand(ahem...Wal-Mart) you understand.

With any luck, we can spin this into college for the dudes. Savings for my Presidential campaign. Maybe an ice-cream cone here and there. Who knows? Maybe, dare I say it...a vacation?!? Yep I said it. Yep, we're going. Disneyland. Boo-YA!

Now let me put this into perspective folks. Cindy and I haven't been on vacation since our honeymoon. That was seven years, four cars, four jobs, three houses and two kids ago. Our time has finally come. Sweetness.

It will be Jake and Brady's first trip on an airplane. First trip to CA. First trip, anywhere for that matter. Brady's not too jazzed about getting on the big silver bird, but I think he'll do fine once we climb aboard. Jake is just completely taken with the whole idea. Start to finish he's all in. It's a real short flight so they'll get a little taste of what the flight back to Louisiana will be like.

Disneyland is going to be more than I can handle. I've been only one time, one day and it wasn't long enough. I loved it. One of my top 20 experiences easily. My boys, I'm sorry if I embarrass you during the trip, but fair warning...it will happen. I am a giant four-year old. Ask your Mom, she's wise to me.

We are flippin lucky.

Lucky.
Lucky.
Lucky.

Thanks to "O" who provided the luck, this summer just got a whole lot cooler. You're the man. Seriously. Thank you.

Right on

The men sporting the funky camo on both sides of G are good dudes.

Donate

A hero needs your help. Get checked.

Gratuitous Zoo Pictures

It was WAYY too hot to be at the zoo that day, but for about 5 minutes we had some fun on the tractor. The rest of the time, we just sweated. We finally came to the conclusion that June through August is just a seriously poor time to take the Dudes outdoors and expect to have fun. Oh well. At least it looks like we are having a good time. Sorry boys. Sometimes Mommy and Daddy forget how close Arizona is to the surface of the sun.

I'm a Pepper, He's a Pepper...

I likes me some Diet Dr. Pepper. Cindy thinks it borders on obesession. I think she's right. I want to bathe in the stuff.

Anyhoo...a few weeks back we got a killer deal on some Caffeine Free Diet DP and we stocked up. OK I stocked up. Two or three cases, but who's counting. We are now down to our last 18 cans or so. Scary stuff.

I've been consuming most of them with the exception of two or three by Jake and Brady. We don't give them caffeinated/sugary soft-drinks, so all they usually score is a Diet Rite. When I found the CFDDP...I had to let them share in the goodness.

Turns out they like it. Not like I do, which is a good thing. They call it "Regular Dr. Pepper" because they can't have the Diet Cherry Vanilla flavor, which we also stock. Not because I horde the stuff...it's the caffeine content, honestly.

Long story longer, Jake is funny. Tonight we put the boys in bed and I headed off to feed my addiction. I cracked a can open.

*PookCHik*

"Daddy, what was that noise?"

"Sorry buddy. I opened a can of Dr. Pepper."

"Regular?"

"Yeah buddy, Regular."

"OK, goodnight."

"Goodnight Jake."



That's my boy. Just stay away from my last precious cans dude.

Baker

I don't have the words, but someone else does. Rest easy Dee.

6 Things to NEVER do...

Ok boys, here are a few things you are NEVER allowed to do. And, if you do them, expect swift and severe punishment. There will be more of the "rules" to follow as I think of them.


1) NEVER...Hang out in front of the mall and smoke. Do not be THAT kid. I will end you. Smoking is bad enough and I will throttle you unmercifully for it. However, if you try and be cool and advertise to the world that you are somehow cooler for smoking in front of the mall...I will end you.

2) NEVER...Play the stare-down game with someone in another car, just because you are with your buddies and you think you are tough. You might be, but there are always tougher dudes out there looking for a reason to prove it. They may call your bluff and it might not be with just their fists.

3) NEVER...Fail to open a door for a female who is within 20 feet of you. Especially after making eye contact. This applies to people with small children and basically anyone who looks to be in need of common courtesy. A little nice goes a long way.

4) NEVER...Start a fight for no good reason. Walk away if you can. If you can't, then finish it the other way. Respectfully put the other person on the ground. Hard. Then offer them a hand up.

5) NEVER...Lie. Even if it rips your guts out, tell the truth. If you don't, and I catch you lying...I will rip your guts out.

6) NEVER...Forget that no matter what you do, or what anyone does to you...I will always love you.

I am Sabretooth

I am Sabretooth. Jake is Wolverine. Brady is The Beast. Mommy is Rogue. We are all nerds.

Our battles usually start with Wolverine and The Beast picking a fight with me. I am not a coward so I accept their challenge. Ferocious tickling ensues until Rogue comes in to absorb my powers with a slight touch and send me crashing to the floor. Being a mutant with super-fast healing ability, I quickly recover.

Then Wolverine and Beast take refuge high atop Mt. IKEA. I growl and snarl, daring them to come down. Eventually they come down and it's on like Donkey Kong. They get tossed onto the Beanbags of Doom. Then lifted high into the air into my patented double-leg reverse tickle. Finally back down to be pinned to the ground and tickled into submission.

Eventually I lose every battle, but I will win the War. Oh yes, I will win.

Land of 1000 Dances

Poor to very poor quality but still, it's cool. The boys dig on this song like you wouldn't believe. They have all the grunts, yells, and na-na-na's down. Kind of a "have to be there" thing, but thought I'd share it anyway.

Roping the wind

We had to seperate the squirrels today. We do this every once in a while just let them know that they are actually seperate people. Most of the time they spin around together like they are caught in a three-foot tornado. Stuff flies out of the vortex unexpectedly, things get broken, and the innocent are left crying and helpless in the wind.

For now, the little microbursts are napping soundly in their beds. No doubt dreaming of new and exciting ways to tear the house apart.

Fight the Power

Brady thinks he has control over all of God's creation. Well, he does until someone tells him otherwise. Yeah, he's two and that comes with the territory, but still. His newest revolt is going to sleep. Used to be you could put him in bed, two stories later he is sawing logs. The last week or so, he's been sitting up demanding things, crying, yelling at us, yelling at Jake, and just generally fighting "The Man".

Tonight, even Jake had to tell him to be quiet and to go to sleep. When the King of singing, talking, and playing Superman in bed, tells you to be quiet and go to sleep...you have a problem. Brady, son, I love you...but please. Enough already. Just GO TO SLEEP!

It's hot dude.

Today, I finally had to break down and admit that it is indeed too hot. I could feel the sweat evaporating off my skin, only to be replaced by more sweat. All day long I looked like one of those Gatorade commercials where the dudes are just dripping. Except my sweat isn't all sorts of pretty Day-Glo colors. No matter how much water I drank, my body kept telling me,"Dude we need more water in here." Drink. Sweat. Drink. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. Hallucinate. Have circular conversation with myself. Drink. Sweat.

And then, somehow, I finally got home. The boys had just gone down for a nap, but Jake was still awake, talking in his bed. I go in his room;

"Hey buddy, it's time to go to sleep."

"Daddy can I have a hug and a kiss?"

"I'm real dirty, so how about just a kiss?"

"Sure, Daddy." (mmmmwah)

"I love you pal, get some good sleep."

"I love you too Daddy, I'm happy you're home."

"I'm super-happy to be home with you Jake."


That's what it's all about. I can take anything mother nature can dish out as long as I have that kinda action when I get home. Good stuff.

Happy Father's Day

Happy Day dudes. I got a belt & disc sander. I was the first person in the door when Toys R Us opened. My boys are running around in Superman shirts, and laughing. All this and it's only 12:45PM. Nice. Best. Father's Day. Ever.

OK...now, it's 10:15PM and the day is done. Time to clarify and recap a few things.

Belt and disc sander. No, I didn't get a waist belt AND a disc sander. It's a power tool that includes both a disc sander and belt sander in one tool. It's sweet and it's all mine. Uh..and no, you can't borrow it.

Toys R Us. What can I say? I am a 29 year old toddler. We spent over an hour in there, but I wanted to stay longer. From bikes to trains, to video games it's the biggest toy store there is. I don't wanna grow up, but even if I did, I'd wanna be a Toys R Us kid. It's true.

Superman. I have been a Superman nerd since I was a wee lad. I get chills when I hear the Superman theme. So, now that the boys have caught the fever, I am completely regressing into my 5-year-old self. June 28th cannot come fast enough.

So thats the clarification. Now on to the recap.

The boys took a nap. Bonus. I went to Home Depot. Double bonus. We went to see our respective families, and no insanity ensued. Triple Bonus.

This has been just a completely perfect day from start to finish. Thank you Cindy for setting this all up for me, and for the most important part...my boys. Without you letting me be the Father of these two, I would never have my belt and disc sander....I mean I would never get to know the outright joy of being a Daddy.

All better now

Earlier tonight I was rushed to the hospital. First they took x-rays to determine the extent of my injuries. The doctors concluded that I needed emergency exploratory surgery right away. I was whisked to the OR where the two finest surgeons in the world went to work on me.

Turns out I had eaten a toybox, a bicycle, a shirt, Shrek, an apple, an orange with the peel on it, a pair of pants, an eyeball and other assorted nonsense. I don't remember ingesting all of that, but I'm sure glad they got it all out of me. But that wasn't the end of it. I also needed a brain transplant. Luckily, there was one readily available and they had it swapped out in no time at all.

They stitched up my head and stomach and applied bandages and kisses liberally. Normally, this would have been extremely uncomfortable to be recieving kisses from your doctors but, I let it slide this time. I figure they saved my life, that's the least I can do.

I really gotta start watching what I eat.

Books

Do you like books? I do. I like books on History, War, Politics, Nature, Wilderness Survival, and *ahem* Superheroes(comic books). However, what I read mostly are books dealing with deep social issues. Complex tales involving multiple characters, subplots, and emotions. Books that teach a lesson while at the same time being visually stimulating.

Yeah, I read a lot of children's books. Over and over. The thing is, the more I read them, the more I don't like "real" literature. I can invest maybe 5 minutes in a children's book and it's smiles all around and, "Read it again Daddy!" Or, I can read one of my most favorite history books for hours and all I get is a head full of useless knowledge and sleepy eyes. Do the math.

Before the boys, I would read a 300 page book in one night, maybe two if I was feeling lazy. Now, I read my books maybe once or twice a week. And thats when I'm needing an extra dose of drowsy.

When I'm an old man, and I have the time to read whatever I choose, whenever I choose what will I reach for? Chances are it will be something from the Seuss collection. If my eyes fail me, it won't matter because I know all of those stories by heart. I will sit and remember the times I read them to my boys, and the smiles we all shared.

Enough already.

I'm fed the heck up with driving around this city and seeing little kids ditty bopping around unrestrained in moving vehicles. No excuse. Absolutely none. You can go to any police station and some hospitals here and get a free car seat. FREE! So, it must be pure laziness. Unbelievable.

On the way home from the mall tonight we saw a disturbing example of this behavior. A newer Isuzu Rodeo with a little child jumping around in the backseat. That's bad enough, but once we got close to the vehicle, we could clearly see that the driver had her seatbelt securely fastened. OK. That says all I need to know about that person. She values her safety over the childs safety. Perfect. As if I didn't have enough wonderful feelings for the selectively retarded members of our society.

Buckle your kids up before my head explodes. Please.

June 6th 1944

Could you do it? Could you step off that landing craft? 62 years ago today, 1465 American men took their last steps off those boats. That's just in one day. On one long stretch of sand in France.

My sons, this is bravery.

This Memorial Day we went to the Memorial Cemetary to pay our respects. We'd never been there before and it was high time to pay a visit. We got the boys in their "My Uncle G is fighting for my future" shirts. They didn't know what to expect, and neither did we.

I didn't expect to see so many people. There was a steady stream of cars pouring in to the parking lot. The main drive was lined with large American flags. Volunteers placed hundreds of small flags above each headstone. Obviously, most of the people coming there, didn't know anyone buried there. People stopped to look, to pray, to take pictures.

We walked around quite a bit. We helped an old Veteran find a plot he was looking for. We showed the boys the plaques, the memorials and the graves. They don't really understand the signifigance, but someday they will. I will make sure they do.

"I'm sah-wee!"

Brady my man, you are the King of the pre-emptive apology. You have finally developed the fear of punishment. Actually in your case the fear of getting caught. Whenever you create some kind of mess, or explosion, or breakage...you say, "I'm sorry", even though we may or may not have witnessed your crime. It's cool, because it lets us know that it was indeed your fault, and that you know you did something wrong. Scratch that...you recognize that whatever you did WE will think is wrong. Either way it's both ridiculously cute and cool and it makes me proud of you. But heck, you don't have to do anything but breathe for me to be proud of you. Keep it up dude.

Easy Mac

What you have here is two little dudes enjoying a little Playhouse Disney on the computer. Uhh, but what is that white stuff they are eating? Marshmallow? No. Cheese? Not even close. Yogurt covered fruit of some kind? Heck no.

It's cauliflower. Oh yeah, cauliflower. Straight up, no dipping sauce required. They love it. We got some weird, weird dudes in this house. Healthy, but wierd dudes.

Guilty as charged

You know you've done it. Some of you do it everyday. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. Come on, it's ok..we all do it. Nothing to be ashamed of. Wait..what were you thinking of?!? Sicko.

I'm talking about spoiling the curtain climbers. It's fun. It's almost too much fun. So, here's my top ten list for ways to spoil the kids.

1) Ice Cream. For breakfast. No, I haven't done this, but...what if?
2) Staying up wayyy too late. I'm talking 11-ish. For no good reason.
3) French fries in the car. This happens far too often.
4) Scary stories. Only, not right before bed. I likes me sleep.
5) Trips around the block. That sometimes end up at Krispy Kreme. OK Always.
6) Not brushing their teeth. Some nights...it's just not happening.
7) Wrestling before bedtime. They won't calm down for an hour, but who cares?
8) Letting them eat with their hands. It's just funny.
9) Playing with toy guns. It's not PC. It's not "acceptable". Deal with it.
10) Letting them get as dirty and wet as they can, for as long as they want.


Good stuff. Indulge your kids folks...and you will be indulged.

Oops

Happy Mother's Day! Without the fairer sex, we'd never be here...so, thanks. C,K,P,K,R,E,T,J,H,A,...umm..some more letters...thanks to all the mothers who's names begin those letters. If I forgot any of you, just leave a nasty comment on here and sign it with your first initial.

Happy Day.

Bored

This is how I feel tonight. Nothing to write. The boys are fine. A little sniffly, but fine.

Jake made the cut...

He's officially too old. He'll be going to pre-school next year at Mommy's school. Only for a few hours, but still. He took a few tests today, passed with flying colors, and now...God help us all.

Inhale. Exhale. Repeat as necessary.

On parenthood

I'm a man and I'm not afraid to admit I love my children to whoever will listen. I tell my customers. I tell strangers in line at the bank. Whoever will listen. In turn, they tell me about their kids. In so many words we are telling each other how much we love being parents. How much we love our children. And deep inside, buried underneath the pride, is the pain only parents know.

The pain of missing out. The pain of regret for not somehow being...better. That burning in your gut, that tells you to do MORE. The knowledge that we only have them for so long. It's as though a wicked task master has presented you with an unachievable goal, that you may never know if you have even come close to achieving.

You don't know this going in. Nobody really knows it. Because you can't, until you get there. You cannot explain the emotions that take over when you become a parent. They just happen.

When the boys were first born, my mind exploded with joy, guilt, gratitude, worry, wonder, awe, and more guilt. That was just in the first 15 seconds. It hasn't changed in almost 4 years. I still worry nonstop about them. I worry about their present as much as their future. How can I make it easier for them? Should I make it easier for them? If I do too much, is it too much for me and too little for them...or vice versa? Wow, I just blew my own mind.

This is all sounding too depressing. Is it bad being a parent? Heck no. Is it the hardest thing I've ever done? Heck YES. Loving them is easy. I wake up loving them, and I go to sleep loving them. That's easy. Raising them is hard. Making sure they don't grow up and have their faces on a Most Wanted poster...is hard. Providing a safe environment for them is easy. Keeping them from proving me wrong about that is hard.

Boys, if I fail you in any way...blame Al Qaeda. No, no. Blame me. I am doing all I can. But, if I do fail you in any way, don't fail your kids in the same way. Learn from my mistakes. You are here on this Earth to make a difference. A positive difference. If you fail to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others, you will fail at changing your World for the better.

HOWEVER, if I am the perfect example of what a Father should be, well by all means; erect statues, name ballfields, throw parades, etc., all in my honor. Oh and have some kids and show 'em all the cool things your Daddy taught you. Like living room baseball. Yeah, stuff like that.

I love you boys.

Click it

This is for those of you who never bother clicking my linkery. Yes it's mostly military related. Click it anyway, and learn something besides what the voices in your head teach you.

Support for GW ...This is my buddy's Mom, laying her thoughts out for all to see on War, Family, Life, and the how each effects the other.

Mudville Gazette ...This a clearing house for all blogs related to our Armed Forces. Run by a soldier and his wife, it doesn't get any better.

Special Operations Warrior Foundation ...This foundation provides college scholarships to the children of our special operations warriors who are killed in combat. Give till it hurts. Then give $50 more.

Pat Tillman Foundation ...This is a great group of people honoring a great man. Throw them some cash.

Fast Bunnies ...Don't let the name throw you. This is an Army officer blogging from Iraq. If you served, you'll find his humor unbearably funny. If you didn't you'll find his humor unbearably funny. Win win.

From My Position...On the Way! ...Chuck is a former tank commander. Former, only by way of IED. He got knocked out of the game for a while but came back with a vengeance. Read it or he will find you.

Holly Aho ...Gotta be, hands down, one of the coolest people on earth. She visits, provides for, and looks after wounded soldiers coming right off the front lines. Is she paid for it? Not a dime. She's a civilian. She's an angel.

Jack Army ...The Man. If it's available in the Army, he's done it. In a few months he'll be plying his trade again, in the sandbox. Read up.

Soldier's Angels ...Like Holly, these are all angels walking the earth. Throw them lots and lots of cashola.

The War Tapes ...Filmed by soldiers in Iraq. If this hits in theaters near you, help make these guys billionaires.

Texas Music ...Another odd title. If you ever wondered what goes through a police officers head when he's on the street....click and read.

CLICK AND READ.

and miles to go before I sleep...

Our boys are good sleepers. Always have been. It's in their blood. However, they have both reached the age when delaying the process is as enjoyable as the act itself.

OK, that was too weird...as I just ended that last sentence I looked up and saw two little eyes staring at me from the hallway. Told you so.

Jake needs to pee. Brady needs a hug. Jake wants some water. Brady sees a questionable shadow. They both want Mommy. Nobody wants Daddy. Daddy gets comfortable. Everybody wants Daddy. It's our little ritual these days. The dance of the tired monkeys.

Rock and/or Roll

This is a Jake and Brady original. Long live metal.

From the backseat...

Driving a vehicle is 75% of my job. The other 25% is easy. I used to enjoy driving. But, now..logging 36K a year in the truck has taken away the pleasure and left mind-numbing tedium. Except when the boys tag along...

I will occasionally pick them up from Mimi's in the rig. Other times it's scooting around town in the Jetta. Whichever vehicle we are in, the ride is never a dull one. If it's just me and them, I'm most often persuaded into story time. They'll make up some wild premise and I have to expand on the concept as I drive. "Shrek and Fiona want to go eat crabby patties with Spongebob and the Lollipop Guild, and then they go to Willy Wonkas chocolate factory." Fun stuff. If it's an all-play, then Mommy gets to play DJ and work the CD player non-stop. She can spin tunes like nobody's business.

The boys are at the point now where they both know our usual driving routes and will point out landmarks along the way. "There's the Geico lizard", "There's the Barry Goldwater Memorial", "There's Pizza Planet"(what they call Peter Piper Pizza). If we ever get turned around, chances are good they can point us in the right direction. That's only for Mommy though...I never get lost. Nope not me..never. Honest. Hmmm...

The Ol' Ballgame

Jake went to a Diamondbacks game last night with his "Poppy". Instead of writing some fancy recap, I'll let Poppy's words stand.

"Thought you might like to take a look at some of the highlights of last night’s game. I really had a great time and I think Jake did too. He was perfect. He never asked to leave, never seemed to be overly bored and was nice to the people around us. As you would have guessed, he got lots of cool looks from the fans as we walked through the concourse and up and down the aisles to our seats. He’s the coolest; he just goes with the flow and acts like he does this all the time."

Tadpoles in Motion

This is a big file, and grainy as all get out. It's my first time..it'll get better. Enjoy.

The Depot

Today, we hit the Depot. Home Depot. The dudes have already acquired the addiction. Is it the smell of building materials, paint, fertilizer, and new appliances that does it? Or is it the sweet Tony Stewart shopping carts with the steering wheels and belt buckles? I don't know. But, its a dang good bet that if you ask the boys where they want to go, just with Daddy....its the Depot.

I can remember when I was kid, always wanting to go to True Value with the old man. It wasn't a big place, but they sure did have some cool stuff. I'll never forget when I got the 6-in-1 hammer-screwdriver-combo...thing. That has got to be one of the best inventions ever. Need a small head hammer? Got it. Need a screwdriver? Phillips or flat? Got it. Just let me unscrew it out of the handle my good man. If you never had one, get one. They aren't top notch tools, but sure is handy in the ol' junk drawer.

Times have changed a little bit though. Maybe the boys will look back to their first laser leveler. And how their Daddy kept stealing it all the time. Ahhh...good times. Good times.

Uncle G

This is the boys favorite video of their Uncle G. At random times of the day, they will just yell,"Action", and start pretending to send rounds downrange. Pretty dadgum cool.

Toys R Us

It's a good place. It's a terrible place.

If you don't have kids with you...it's magical.
If you do have kids with you...it's magical.

If you don't have kids with you and you have to leave...disappointing, but doable.
If you do have kids with you and you have to leave...it's like they have gone straight to hell, and you (The Devil) are going to enjoy torturing them for all eternity by making them leave toy stores.

Toys R Us is a terrible, terrible place.



It's still pretty cool though. Even if I am the devil. Sorry boys.

Pop Quiz

OK hotshot. You have two boys who have obviously been in each others company for far too long. Screaming, fighting, pestering, and otherwise annoying each other. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?

A) Separate them. But how?
B) Let them run free in the backyard.
C) Put them both in timeout.
D) Hug them until they are both mad at you instead of each other.
E) Dial 911

You have 15 seconds to submit your answer. Failure to do so will result in a total lack of respect from yours truly. As if that means a dadgum thing.

Tadpoles

It's hot. Water keeps your body from melting. Costco had a big inflatable pool for $40. I had the day off. Rock on.

Square Table Discussion

So, in my younger days I collected some cool posters. Mostly comic book/superhero stuff. After I married my fetching bride, they soon found their way into the abyss of storage. But, oh-ho-ho, what's this? The dudes are finally superhero freaks! I dug deep into the garage and pulled out a big roll of dusty posters the other day and now it's game on.

This particular poster is one with a lot of the Marvel Universe characters. The boys love pointing out the different guys and gals and making up crazy names for them. I found myself getting all geeked out and trying to explain all their superpowers. "Oh, check out Captain America, he was injected with the super-soldier serum in WWII and he doesn't age and still kicks Nazi butt and check out his shield, made from adamantium, when he throws it, it always comes back to him!" The boys just gave me that,"Who asked you?" look and continued their discussion. Not surprisingly, I get that look about 20 times a day around here. And not just from the boys. Oh, just wait until I crack open my comic book collection....

Souper Salad

This place is kinda the high-quality of the low-quality salad bar themed restaurants. It's not ever gonna win an award. Except maybe for passing the state health exam with flying colors. Hopefully. You got your salad, fixin's, wildly underseasoned pasta salad assortment, semi-fresh fruit, soups du jour, questionable taco/sloppy joe meat, cracker bread pizza, rockin' breads in a stay fresh box, and of course the erstwhile soft serve machine and topping bar. It all adds up to culinary mediocrity but the dudes flippin' love it.

Here is a sample of their typical meal at The Soup;

Black Olives
Pepperoni
Cauliflower
Sunflower Seeds
Soup
Salad
Gingerbread
Mommy's croutons
Water
Ice Cream

Give or take a few variations, this is what they always want. Kids are weird. MY kids are SOUPer weird.

"Happy Easter!"

Easter 2006. I am pleased. This was by far the best Easter I have ever had in my 29 years. The boys were psyched up for it. Cindy and I were excited. The world just felt right. We got to spend some real good time with our families. We got to spend some nice quiet time with just the four of us as well. Candy was eaten in moderation. Nobody got hurt. Sweetness and good cheer were the rule, not the exception. And...what's this?? The dudes didn't have one single fight the whole day? Thank you Jesus.

Pictures are available upon request. I am dialing it up right now, and it takes around 4-5 years to post pictures. A remedy is in the works.

Wizard of Oz Medley

This is what we get at supper everynight...and pretty much whenever they feel like breaking into song.

"Hi, Everybody!"

That is Jake talking. We have now entered a new, scary dimension on this blog. The boys will now be giving un-edited shout-outs to all of you on a regular basis. Prepare.

Google Dudes

Go to GOOGLE and type in "Jake and Brady are crazy" and click "I'm feeling lucky". You can't argue with the almighty Google.

UPDATE!!

OK so I guess my instructions were too vague and some of you are a little confused. I'll save you the time. If you follow my instructions, Google will just link you right back to Jake and Brady Central. Now, that I think about it, it's not that amusing but well, yeah..to me it is. Go on about your business.

Top Ten

I always enjoy a good top-ten list. So, I'm gonna try my hand at one here and if it goes over well, who knows. Maybe it'll be a regular space filler. Maybe it'll become an annoying chain e-mail and go all the way around the World and by the time it gets back to me I will only have 20 minutes to e-mail it to 20 friends or I will never find true love/happiness/wealth/friendship/matching socks! I'll take my chances.



Top Ten Reasons to Have Children

1) Everyday you get to wake up as someone's hero. Cape and mask optional.
2) No matter how cool you think you are, your kid will be cooler.
3) You can name the child anything you want. Yes, even that.
4) When's the last time you lost a tickle fight? On purpose. Repeatedly.
5) Baby food is surprisingly tasty. Also, it unstain-proofs, stain-proof fabric.
6) What makes diapers super absorbent? You'll find out! The hard way.
7) You gotta read more books. Even if they are 5 pages long and have no words.
8) Kids will forgive you for almost anything. Even when you can't forgive yourself.
9) Your car has special child safety features you aren't even using. What a waste!
10 You are going to die soon enough. Get busy living for someone else for a change.

Happy Anniversary

Happy *cough* anni*cough*versary *cough-cough* sweetheart!

I wish this past weekend would have been one filled with high romance and long passionate kisses. Instead, the boys and I got hammered into the ground by some kind of devilish chest cold. I can tell you now though I had plans..oh yes I had plans. I swear I did. Really.

Anyhoo. 7 years of marriage. What the H? How do you do it? Why do you do it? Why is the sky blue? Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried? All these questions...

Now if memory serves, we have been dating/going-out/seeing-eachother, etc. for...holy cheese...almost 14 YEARS! Is that right? Woah. Try this one; next year at this time, we will have been together for half our lives. Freaky. Cool, but freaky.

It seems like just yesterday I was standing in my parents' backyard holding you and asking you to be my girlfriend. I was 15 years old. If I had known all that hung in the balance of your answer, I might not have asked. What if you had said no?...

There would be no first kiss. I would never have gotten to know your absurdly large family so well. I wouldn't have had to face your Dad and his legal pad of questions when asking for your hand in marriage. There wouldn't be a ring under the tree on Christmas Eve for you. No hilariously boring wedding "classes." No wedding. I wouldn't have seen how beautiful you were in your wedding dress. No standing up, kneeling, sitting, kneeling, kneeling, standing, kneeling and sweating profusely in a rented tuxedo with a smile on my face as we took our vows. No kick-A reception afterwards. No San Diego. No first apartment. Nothing. There would be no us.

And there would be no THEM. No Jake. No Brady. Phew! Man, you really hit a homerun there slugger! I served it up slow and straight, but you really drove that sucker deep. How about that? All you had to say was one magic word, two times, and look what we got out of it.

Thank you for all that your life has brought to mine. You fill my heart up in ways my feeble mind can't express. I love you forever.

Putting the "O" in Zoo

So we went to the Zoo on Sunday. It's been a pretty regular Sunday kinda thing this past month. Summer is literally days away it seems, so we have to get out while we can. So, this Sunday we took 'ol Grandpa "O" to the zoo with us. Grandma Mimi was back in Louisiana for the weekend so it was just us 5 this time.

The place was packed, but it's big enough to spread around so it wasn't too bad. The boys had a good time just wandering around for a bit. Then we decided to get a bite to eat. All the usual suspects; chicken taco salads, chicken fry bread, etc. Again, I can't stress this point enough: If you live in the Maricopa County area..get your mouth to Cafe Lobo at the Phoenix Zoo. Rockin' food at crazy-cheap prices.

Anyway, after lunch the boys put the hard sell on "O" for some dessert. Jake wanted an ice cream-sandwich and Brady wanted cotton candy. Mmmmm...sugar. Jake ate his treat as usual, with no mess and not a drop wasted. Brady....well. Turns out he wanted just PURPLE cotton candy so he had to dig through the rainbow colored bag until he found the good stuff. He was just hurling it out at "O" as fast as he could. Hence the smile on the old man's face. The picture of Brady is classic B-man shenanigans. Give him sugar and opportunity and he'll make you belly laugh every time.

Opposites

I have come to the conclusion that for all Jake and Brady's striking similarities, they are actually complete opposites.

-Where Jake walks, Brady runs.
-Brady eats the protein first, Jake starts with the vegetable.
-Jake likes to read books, Brady likes to destroy them.
-Brady doesn't relly care for sweets, Jake will eat pumpkin pie until he explodes.
-Jake likes to cuddle, Brady likes to harass.

Is there a pattern there? If you haven't gathered thusfar, Brady is indeed the crazy one. Jake has his moments though. It's crazy how one dude picks up where the other leaves off. We get the full spectrum of boyhood, good and bad. Mostly good though.

Like this little scene that played out recently; I had been telling Brady not to kick the wall in the toyroom. He could only manage about 15 seconds of restraint and then his self-control would fail him. So, I went in and got in his face, raised my voice, and told him not to do it again or he was going to timeout. He was cool with that until I left the room and then he started crying. Not the usual angry cry but a sad cry. Like I had told him to stop breathing. Just as I was heading back in there, I hear Jake calmly saying,"It's OK Brady. He's not mad at you. He still loves you. He just doesn't want you to kick the wall anymore." I turn the corner and Jake has an arm around Brady's shoulders and Brady has stopped crying. What am I supposed to do with that? Jake is 3. 3 YEARS OLD! 3 years old and he's in-tune with his brother's emotional needs enough to embrace him and tell him his Father's not an A-Hole.

What did I do after that? What could I do? I backed out of the room and let the two "opposites" have their moment as one. Once again, I am humbled by the knee-high crowd. Nice job boys.

Conflict of Interest

Houston...we have a problem;

Jake likes to cuddle with his Mommy.
I like to cuddle with my Wife.
Problem is, this is the same woman.

Jake will not share her with me.

I am not to be seen hugging, kissing, touching or standing within a close proximity to "His" Mommy.

If I break his rules, I get his wrath. Plain and simple.

Screaming, growling, pushing, and calling me,"Bad Daddy".

Allright then.

Jake, you are nuts.

I can't wait until you bring your first girlfriend home.

Good times, good times.

Curious George...

Well, today was Monday. Which means it is my one day of the week to celebrate masculinity with Jake and Brady. You know, lots of booger and poop talk and wrasslin' around the house. Just the boys. Good times. Anyway, I had another one of my infamously bright ideas. "Let's go see Curious George when Mommy gets home." Sure. Right. Like it's that simple.

Brady has never been to a movie in a theater and Jake has been 2 or 3 times. If you know Brady you know why. He's a bit more controllable now, so I thought I would chance it. Wait, controllable is not the right word. Predictable. That's better. He's a mess, count on it.

Anyhoo, Cindy got home for lunch and was unfairly confronted with the information that Daddy had indeed promised a trip to the movies later. Being the ever doting mother she reassuringly smiled at the boys and shot me a backhanded look that said,"Nice work, moron." She is used to me. What can I say?

So skip ahead to the show. Fortunately, I grossly overestimated the amount of time we would need to get there. We were 40 minutes early, and the only ones in the theater. We've got our smuggled M&M's, water, etc., cleverly tucked away in the diaper-backpack-thingy. We took our seats. When I say we, I mean Cindy and I. Jake and Brady thought it would be more fun to run laps up, down and all around the auditorium. OK. Tire yourselves out. Except, they don't get tired. They just keep going. How?

After 25 minutes or so, a few other people show up so it was time to hunker down. The lights finally got low, and the boys' eyes got huge. Brady was loving it. Squealing that nasally little squeal and laughing at the previews. Jake was more amused by Brady than what was on the screen. We all were.

The movie was pretty good. Not "gotta buy it on DVD" good, but still. Half way through, Jake spilled an Icee on himself. Sooo, he watched the rest of the film sans shirt. Funny stuff. The boys both hung in there with the flick and made it to the end without any major complaints. That's all I can ask for.

I had visions of Brady leaping over the seatbacks, and terrorizing other patrons with dinosaur growls. He surprised me and made me proud. Not that he doesn't make me proud anyway, but you know...

There's a different sort of pride when your child behaves in public as opposed to when they execute a perfect flying takedown on their older brother. And then Jake, not freaking about the Icee incident. Plus, reaching over and holding Brady's arm out of tenderness and not malice. Well, dadgummit it's the little things that count the most. Jake, Brady....I love you. You little cheeseballs.

Go fly a kite...

A few days ago I had the bright idea to go get some kites and well...fly them. I had the boys all pumped up for it too. We went to Wallyworld and found two Spiderman kites for a $1.00 each. Gotta love America. And Sam Walton.

So after hyping the boys up for how cool flying kites was gonna be, it was time to put up or shut up. Cindy and I took the dudes to a park near the house. We got the kites all put together and off we went. Except the kites. They kinda just sat there. No wind. Well, don't I look like a tool. Yeah boys, flying kites is awesome! Woo Hoo!

Eventually the wind picked up a little. Long enough for us to get Jake's kite up and snap this picture. It came crashing down about 2 minutes later. So, not all was lost but...I lost some cool points I think. Chalk one up to mother nature.

Bombs away!

Brady poops. Sometimes in his pants. Sometimes in the toilet. Never in the bath. Not yet at least. This picture is of him firing off his first real wave of porcelain assault bombs. He's a quick study and an eager participant. However, he is also a busy, busy man and cannot tear himself away from playtime sometimes to come and tell us it's time to do the #2 shuffle. Either way, we are one step closer to freedom from diapers.

What will we do with the extra money? Buy a new car? Buy name-brand clothing? Eat at a restaurant that doesn't serve chicken strips? Ohhh its almost too much to imagine. Hooray for potty training.

Here comes the serious train....

I am tired but I don't want to sleep right now. Too much to process. This past week has kind of been an information overload. Sometimes life hits you with full force, ready or not. Good or bad.

So, I turned 29. That was cool. I got to spend it with Cindy and the boys. Nothing fancy. No need for that. The boys drew me some awesome pictures that Cindy made into a book. Cin got me a great book about the Iwo Jima flag raisers. I highly recommend them both.

Then the other shoe dropped.

A call from Louisiana. My Aunt Maresa got some bad news from her doctor. Breast Cancer. From what I know it had spread partially to her lymph nodes. I am floored. I hate cancer. I hate what it can do. I hate that it exists. That we can't rid it from the face of the earth is inexcusable. I try to play tough, but inside I am shredded.

Almost 13 years ago, cancer took the life of my Aunt Linda. She was one of the coolest people I have ever known. She fought as hard as you can and then some. When chemo failed, she went alternative. When that failed, she went home. Just before she passed, I was too scared to go see her. My good-bye is incomplete and I will never forgive myself for that.

Cancer doesn't care how brave you are. Doesn't care how much you love your children. Doesn't care how much you are loved in return. Doesn't care about anything.

So now, we wait. Surgery has been performed, and chemo will start in the next few weeks. The doctor seems pretty upbeat I guess. I don't know, never met the dude. He better know his skill-set for his sake. In the mean time, we pray. We pray for her, and I'm asking that you do to. Even though you might not know her...just send a good one up for her. It can't hurt. If it helps.....rock on.

After taking that in a bit we got some good news. Yesterday, my buddy GW got to come home for his 2-week mid-tour leave. Cindy and I have known it was coming since December. His Mom didn't though. He finally got her. I wish I could have been there. I want to be there now. For him and for me. He always knows some interesting ways to get a persons mind off real life. He can also lay down some heavy truths and listen as you vent like a steam engine. He's a good friend and a great man. Welcome home G-Dub.

So...ups, downs, in-betweens. What's new though right? Life is still a pretty dadgum good proposition. No matter how sad I get, how many tears I cry....there is a smile waiting for me when I get home. Three smiles to be certain. Three people who give me perspective on all this weirdness. They reinforce these basic truths;

Tears dry. Wounds heal. Laughter is contagious. Smiles are free. Life happens, get on with it.

Habitual

I have been lazy. I am lazy. I will be lazy.

OK. SO....pictures are on the way. I have a lot of catching up to do so I'll save the uploading for a time in the near future, or distant future.

Jake and Brady. Jake and Brady. I almost never say one name without saying the other. Usually because they are both doing something outrageously dangerous to themselves or our possessions. Nothing new there.

Christmas. Tons o fun. The boys finally reached the age where they both were excited for the whole process. We did have a running dialogue about the real reason for Christmas, but to what effect...who knows? I think the idea of a fat dude who brings you stuff in exchange for good behavior and cookies is just too much brain ammo for them to squeeze in the religious aspect right now. Oh well, as long as it's in there somewhere.

The boys as usual received way too many presents for us to fit into the rotation. So, in original packaging they sit. Waiting for their turn to be enjoyed and destroyed...maybe not in that order.

We were able to make the rounds again this Christmas, and see a good portion of our family. The older I get, the more I realize how much I have taken that for granted. Hopefully next year, we'll get to see even more of the ones we love. Especially all the ones in Louisiana. Jake and Brady, if I didn't get you back there by the end of 2006, punch me. Hard. Leave a mark.

Hooray...its 2006. Uhhh. Not much partying went down on New Years Rockin' Eve. The boys got to stay up a little late, and Cindy zonked out promptly thereafter. So, there I sat. Me and the TV. Cindy got a smooch on the forehead at 12,(that she doesn't remember) and then it was lights out for me too.

The boys continued their rampage through the month of January, just getting things done J&B style. Toys were strewn. Matresses were jumped on. Nerves were frayed. We were attacked with hugs. Kisses were thrown about with reckless abandon. Love was the rule of the day. Everyday.

So, now it's February. Two more days and I'm 29. Holy Lord, how have I lived this long? One more year till 30. That doesn't sound bad. One more year. One more month. One more week. One more day. One more hour. One more minute. One more second. I'll take what I can get. I am blessed with the time I have with my wife and sons.

Looking back on 29 years, I haven't led a perfect life. Far from it. But, I must have pleased God somehow. At some time I must have made God smile. When I think about who God is, or how, or if God is, I always think of my boys. It is said that we are all God's children. Then he must feel about me, how I feel about Jake and Brady. When they mess up, I am disappointed. But I never stop loving them. Their mistakes fade into oblivion, but their triumphs I will always remember and hold close to my heart. God..if you are listening or logging in from heaven.net, I feel you, I know you, I owe you. Big time.

That time again...

I got the message loud and clear...so here's your dose.

Jake and Brady are still the coolest kids in the Universe. I would say in any Universe, but that would be blatant braggery.

Ok, so I left off before Turkey Day. It was good times, what can I say? We get to go eat fabulous food for free at two houses. Rock on. The boys had a great day. Jake ended up eating, I believe, 9 pieces of pumpkin pie. You would think his ticket would be punched for the rest of the year on the stuff, but no..he still asks for it.

Which brings us to..Christmas time. The boys are old enough now to really appreciate what is coming at them this weekend. I think they are getting the point about it really being about Jesus, but who know's? Children can be the greatest manipulators so maybe they just play along to entertain us. "Yeah, yeah..Happy Birthday Jesus, God is great, that Mary, what a gal...now how about those toys?" Either way, they are sweet as heck right now and I'm savoring the flavor.

Oh yeah, on a silly note, the boys have somehow decided the Wizard of Oz is the greatest movie of all time. The scary thing is, the more I watch it the more I agree with them. The movie was made in 1938 and the special effects are better than some "blockbusters" they try and force feed us these days. Furthermore, if you don't fall out laughing when the Lullaby League/Lollipop Guild hit the screen, dial 911 because your heart isn't beating. The dudes have every line in the movie memorized now. Jake can do the Scarecrow and Tin Man dances perfectly. Brady's little nasally voice crooning all the tunes is pure comedy. I can bust out a pretty good Cowardly Lion myself. Good times...

I'll get some pictures put up in a few days. In the meantime, have a great Christmas or whatever reason you have for spending time with those you love. If you can't be with the ones you love, remember all those cherished times when you were with them. Failing that, there's always eggnog. Cherish the eggnog.

Just take the pain...

The Dudes have a new favorite "Daddy Game". It involves me mistakenly laying down on my back and them jumping on my stomach and chest like I'm a trampoline. It would be cool, except that Jake weighs upwards of 40lbs now, and Brady is pushing 30lbs. So yeah, 70lbs on my torso kinda hinders my respiratory process a little. The sick thing is, I just let them do it, as long as they want to. Bruises be darned, I know my place in life and it's to entertain these two gents. So long as my body holds up...

Just another day...

Get up, barely. Brush my teeth. Get dressed. Stumble out the door. Drive. Kill bugs. Drive. Catch a rat. Drive. Eat lunch. Drive. Kill some ants. Drive. This is what I do. This is not who I am.

Come home. Hug my boys. Ask about their day. Read books. Kiss their mother when she comes in. Eat supper as a family. Tell silly stories at the table. Laugh at Brady's weird faces. Marvel at Jake's detailed stories and Brady's attempts to parrot them. After bath, it's cuddle and story time. Goodnight kisses. Brady gets the three way smoocheroo on the head and "I loves you's" all around. Tell Jake a funny story and tuck him in tight and tell him I love him. He returns the favor. Kiss my wife and tell her I love her before I sleep. My heart is full. This, is who I am.

Scary stuff

It's that time of year again. Time to get the chil'rens dressed up and go huntin' for candy. It almost feels like stealing when we take candy from people. Seeing as how we only let the boys eat maybe 5 pieces out of 200 or so, and we eat the rest..well I guess it IS stealing. Either way, it's a silly day and I am all for it. We need more retarded holidays in this Country.

This year was by far the best yet. As it fell on a Monday, that meant we had the whole weekend to pack in Pumpkinfest '05. We went to a cool party at Steve and Erika's. Brady lost his mind when he saw his cousin Adam dressed up like a skeleton. It WAS pretty scary so he loses no cool points for breaking down. Jake was as cool as the other side of the pillow. He know's I'm the scariest bear in the woods so some costume aint gonna get him excited.

Tonight, the boys strolled the 'hood with us and robbed our neighboors blind. We left with empty bags and came home with at least 5lbs of sugar, food coloring, soy lecithin, TBHQ and other interesting and delicious chemicals. Our little firefighters stole the show and a few hearts as well. Chicks dig the uniform...

Now, about the pictures. Those are from tonight about 20 minutes after we walked in the door. That is what you get when you give our boys ONE mini Nestle Crunch bar or any chocolate bar for that matter. They start flying. Something in chocolate makes their bodies reject gravity and they begin to hover. They eventually build up to full blown flight. Haunted houses? Who needs 'em? Nothing is scarier than a 2 or 3 year old jumping off a couch, with every intention of landing on your head or, a more..*ahem*..sensitive area.

Oh man...

The boys are getting rough. Not crazy rough yet, but rough enough. Jake has decided the best defense for Brady's offense is to lay down and let Brady try his best. Surprisingly this tactic is highly effective. "Little Brudda" gets worn out a lot faster then "Big Brudda" that way. When they grow bored with knocking each other around the house, they come after us.

Now this is what I always wanted little brothers for. Wrestling matches in the living room, where someone ends up laughing till they pee, cry, or both. I love rough-housing for a totally different reason now though. Sometimes, when Jake has completed his Tour de Force, he'll grab on to me, look at me all out of breath, panting, and say,"Daddy...I...Love...You".

Further proof that Heaven exists right here on Earth.

Happy Birthday Brady!

You little goofball...you're 2 years old! Huh? What? How? I can't believe it either buddy. You are growing so fast and having so much fun in the process. Not a day goes by that I don't end up rolling on the floor, laughing at something you've done or said. Your sense of humor, and comedic timing are so many levels above my own that I probably miss half of your jokes. Keep it up pal. Never stop making people laugh...and especially keep making yourself laugh.

Your party was awesome. Lots of your cousins, aunts, uncles...and of course, all four of your grandparents. When everybody got here, we had to wake you up for your own party. You and Jake took an extra long nap, you must've known you would need it. In fact, Jake kept right on sleeping until about 30 minutes after everyone was here. That's my boys...

After we got you dudes up, everyone played outside while I cooked the burgers. You played on the slide and in the grass and showed your cousin, Rachel, your secret hiding place behind the bushes. Then, everybody came inside and ate their burgers.

Next came the booty! No, not that kind. Toys. Presents. The good stuff. You got some super cool stuff this year. You had fun opening up your presents and you let some of your cousins help you out too. What a champ!

Finally...Cake Time. Oh yeah, your favorite part. Mommy and I stayed up late making you a Nemo cake. It was all worth it seeing the smile on your face. We all sang Happy Birthday and then you blew out the candle. Then..it was on! You chowed down on your cake and an ice cream cone. Phew...that was a lot of food for one little dude. Nice job you little animal.

I love you Brady...thank you for being my Son, and lighting up my world with your spirit.

Translation please...

The boys never cease to amuse me. Brady is getting very fluent in the English language. Sometimes though, he gets ahead of himself. He'll rattle off a series of words that to him, make sense. To us it sounds like either he is cussing us out in Chinese, or his tongue has fallen asleep. Jake though, he understands everything. So now all we have to do is ask Jake what, "Anna goside pain degwass n onaseyide" means. Jake will say,"Brady says he wants to go outside, play in the grass and on the slide." Whoa.

Now, it could be Jake puts him up to asking for things and therefore knows EXACTLY what Brady is saying...who knows? It's funny as heck either way.

At this very moment..I just heard them both yell to each other,"I LOVE YOU", from their beds. That's flippin awesome. Telling your best friend you love them right before you go to sleep. Awesome. Think I'll try that too.

The Zoo

The weather still sucks. However, we purchased a membership to the zoo. I'll be dadgum if we aren't getting our full use out of it this year. I like our zoo. The animals are pretty cool. You can kinda get close to them, without feeling "TOO" close to them. It's pretty spread out, so you get some good exercise. Parking is relatively easy. They have a really cool treehouse and a splash zone for the kids. It's nice and shady in most parts so you can almost feel comfortable in 100 degree heat.

Above all that though, we go for the food. Mexican food. Cheap Mexican food. Not real authentic stuff, but you just can't beat the atmosphere. The boys love to eat the "chips" from our taco salads. They get a black bean, tomato, and chicken breast fry-bread thing, which if they don't eat the fry-bread is darn healthy. Never had fry-bread? I feel bad for your taste buds, but your heart is better for it. It's basically lard and flour...fried in lard. Congestive heart failure anyone? We never let the dudes eat more than a few pinches of the stuff, but it gets eaten. Just not by them and not by Cindy.

Little Monkey

That's Brady. He's our resident shoe tester. If we happen to leave our shoes where they shouldn't be, this is what happens. He'll stomp all over the house saying, "I did it!" "I'm wearing Daddy's shoes!" This time he just happened to do it with no pants on. Actually, he's started doing a lot of stuff with no pants on. They boy likes to be free in the wind. What can I say, he takes after me.

Tonight we had spaghetti for supper. Jake calls it basketti. Brady calls it sketti. Cindy and I call it,"Oh, $#%@!" Somehow, we always forget just how disgusting little boys can make a nice meal. They'll start by slurping it up as loud as they can. Next come the bites that are twice the size of their mouth, thereby depositing half of a spoonfull on their lap. Then the flinging. My God, the flinging. Enough already. Finally they'll finish up with a little reverse slurping. Yes, that is just what you pictured. Not spitting, slowly releasing a noodle from their mouth while Cindy and I look at each other in disbelief. "How did we get so lucky?"

Far too long...

I apologize to all the faithful checkers-in at JB Central. I've been a tad busy this past week or so. I promise to be more faithful now that things are getting back to normal. An explanation follows;

Long story short, GW has deployed. I had the opportunity to spend a few days and nights with him at Ft. Campbell and I feel blessed to have done so. We both said what needed to be said and then some. I also got to meet his friends and fellow soldiers that are deployed with him. They all shared stories, thoughts and feelings with me that I will never forget. My friend is in good hands, as are his men. That is all I went up there needing to find out, and I did. Please say a prayer for these men before you rest your head at night.

Now, the boys..they are just...perfect. Jake has become the incredible thinking man lately. His memory and intellect are constantly making me feel like by the time he is 6 he will be smarter than I am. Maybe. Ok, fine..he passed me up six months ago. Can we move on? For example; used to be I could tell him something and he'd forget it within an hour or so. Like,"You can watch a movie after your bath." Tonight, LSU was playing a big game so I promised him after it was over we could watch a movie. That was about 4PM. So, we had supper, he played with Brady forever, blah, blah..then took his bath. The game went on until 8:30 or so. Forgetting my promise, I tell the boys it's time for bed. Jake just about came un-glued. "NO! You told me we could watch a movie when the football game was over!" Phew...a promise is a promise so we compromised and watched a little Wiggles action before bed.

Brady is quickly becoming a candidate for his own extreme-stunt reality show. Pain for him, is just not a factor in daily life. It seems to make his life more exciting and fun. Great. Super. If he makes it to 3 without braking something on his body or someone else's, I will be shocked. He's a happy little cannonball, but still...take it down a notch dude.

Happy Birthday Buddy!

3 years old today. Wow! You're getting too old, too quickly. We had such a great time today. What a cool party. What a cool kid. The whole house was Shrek green. You even had a Shrek cake. Mommy and I stayed up real late to make it for you, but it was no trouble at all. Anything to make you smile. You got to play with a bunch of your cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Everyone had a great time. We had hamburgers for supper and then lots and lots of Shrek cake and ice-cream for dessert. You got so many presents, I have no idea where we are going to put them all. Nice haul pal. It pays to be a cool dude.

I'm so proud of you Son. I love you more than clouds love the sky. Happy Birthday.

Look what we can do...

The weather was pretty darn mild this morning. A few more days of this and it's a trend. A few weeks of it and..no..can it be? Fall? Already? I don't think I'm that lucky.

Me and the boys took advantage of the situation and got outside for some fresh air. As soon as I told the dudes we were going outside, it was all I could do to unlock the door, before they ran through it. I turned the misters on and just sat back and took it in. Watching them play is one of the great pleasures in my life. They go at it like it's their first and last time to play together. One of them will discover something new to do, and the other one wants to learn how right away. They must spend 90% of their day smiling or laughing. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

After our romp in the great outdoors, we came in for lunch. They scarfed down their tuna sandwiches, pickles, and chips and salsa. Yep, chips and salsa. My boys like what I like...go figure. Now if I can just convince them that ESPN is more entertaining than the Disney Channel...all we be right with my world.

Wits end

So, tonight at supper we had a grand ole time. The battle for control of the supper table is still raging. They will eat...in between fits of hysterical laughter at one another's jokes. It's getting down-right ridiculous. It got bad tonight. After the umpteenth time telling Jake to stop joking around and eat his green beans and chicken, I was at my wits end. My brain must've been tired of it too, because at one point all I could say was,"Eat'em green." I guess I was trying to say,"Eat those green beans." The boys laughed at that order for about five minutes. Someone tell me this is a common thing and that unruly children cannot cause mild strokes.

Otherwise, the Dudes had a good day. Jake got busted for swiping a finger-full of pumpkin pie in the fridge. When we questioned him on it he laughed and said,"Yep, I did it." His honesty earned him a sizable slice of the good stuff. After he finished his green beans of course.

I also gave the boys haircuts tonight. Whoever invented electric clippers, or more importantly the plastic attachments...you rock. Without those things, I think we'd have to pay someone to do it. I can barely cut a straight line on construction paper with scissors. These thick fingers just weren't meant to do that delicate work. With the clippers though I can make their hair look at least Wal-Mart quality. Sometimes, even Super-Cuts cool. Just one of my many talents. Yeah, right.

The hunter and his prey...

We took a trip to Toys R Us today. The boy's birthdays are coming up so we had to find out what they really NEED. If you have ever been to our house, you know they don't need anything. Our little house is just a large toybox. There is not a room in here where you can take three steps without bumping into something that squeaks, beeps, plays music, or is just plain squishy. What the heck though right, one or two more can't hurt. Much.

Brady found this huge Nemo. He looks like he's on his way to do something violent to him. Look closely and you can see Nemo's not too excited about Brady's disposition. The picture is deceiving though. Nemo is Brady's favorite aquatic creature at the moment. I don't think he would do anything to hurt him...intentionally.

Sometimes bad things happen...

Boys, something happened this week that will never be forgotten in this Country. In Louisiana, where Daddy is from, there was a big storm. There have been big storms there before, but not like this one. This was the biggest to ever hit Louisiana. The storm was so big it even hit Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida too.

When I lived in Louisiana I saw it rain a lot. Sometimes for a lot of days on end. One year, the water got so high that I couldn't go to school. I thought it was pretty neat. We lived on a lake and we had a boat dock in the back of our house. The water was so high that the boats were touching the ceiling of the dock. When you're little, water is just fun. Lots of water is lots of fun. Sometimes though a lot of water is a bad thing. A very bad thing.

That's what happened this week. A huge storm called a hurricane, came ashore early in the morning last weekend. Lots of people packed up what they could and left their homes to go to safer places. Some people didn't. The people that stayed, did so for different reasons. Some were too sick or too old to leave. Some people didn't have cars. Still others, just thought the storm wasn't going to be that bad, and didn't want to leave their houses.

When the storm hit the coast, it did very bad things. Lots of people lost everything they had. A lot of the people who stayed, didn't make it. In one big city, New Orleans, the whole city was flooded. The water was so high, people had to be rescued with boats and helicopters. Some towns just got washed away all together. The water messed up everything. People had no food to eat, or clean water to drink. There was no electricity for TV or telephones, so lots of people didn't know what to do or where to go for help.

A lot of good people came to help, but it was hard to help everybody. Sometimes, when bad things happen to people, it makes them think and do bad things too. That made it harder to help the other people. But, still more good people came to help everyone. They gave the sick people medicine. They gave the hungry people food. They gave the thirsty people water. They put people on buses, helicopters, airplanes, and boats to get them to safety. There were soldiers, policemen, firefighters, doctors, nurses, and regular people who all came to help their friends. They all did the best they could.

Eventually all the people will get out of danger and things will start to get better. I don't know right now how long it will take for things to get all better though. There is a lot of work to do. Hopefully, you boys will never see things like this happen in your lifetimes.

Boys, if you ever hear thunder and see lightning, go inside. If it starts to rain while you are driving, slow down and be extra careful. If there is a big storm coming and somebody warns you to get away from it, leave everything where it is, and just get to a safe place. Along the way, if you see someone in danger, stop to help them if you can.

Remember what I said about testing your Mommy? The same goes for testing Mother Nature. You can't beat either one of them. You can always make more money to replace everything you will ever own, you cannot replace your life, or the lives of the people you love.

I love you boys.