Conflict of Interest

Houston...we have a problem;

Jake likes to cuddle with his Mommy.
I like to cuddle with my Wife.
Problem is, this is the same woman.

Jake will not share her with me.

I am not to be seen hugging, kissing, touching or standing within a close proximity to "His" Mommy.

If I break his rules, I get his wrath. Plain and simple.

Screaming, growling, pushing, and calling me,"Bad Daddy".

Allright then.

Jake, you are nuts.

I can't wait until you bring your first girlfriend home.

Good times, good times.

Curious George...

Well, today was Monday. Which means it is my one day of the week to celebrate masculinity with Jake and Brady. You know, lots of booger and poop talk and wrasslin' around the house. Just the boys. Good times. Anyway, I had another one of my infamously bright ideas. "Let's go see Curious George when Mommy gets home." Sure. Right. Like it's that simple.

Brady has never been to a movie in a theater and Jake has been 2 or 3 times. If you know Brady you know why. He's a bit more controllable now, so I thought I would chance it. Wait, controllable is not the right word. Predictable. That's better. He's a mess, count on it.

Anyhoo, Cindy got home for lunch and was unfairly confronted with the information that Daddy had indeed promised a trip to the movies later. Being the ever doting mother she reassuringly smiled at the boys and shot me a backhanded look that said,"Nice work, moron." She is used to me. What can I say?

So skip ahead to the show. Fortunately, I grossly overestimated the amount of time we would need to get there. We were 40 minutes early, and the only ones in the theater. We've got our smuggled M&M's, water, etc., cleverly tucked away in the diaper-backpack-thingy. We took our seats. When I say we, I mean Cindy and I. Jake and Brady thought it would be more fun to run laps up, down and all around the auditorium. OK. Tire yourselves out. Except, they don't get tired. They just keep going. How?

After 25 minutes or so, a few other people show up so it was time to hunker down. The lights finally got low, and the boys' eyes got huge. Brady was loving it. Squealing that nasally little squeal and laughing at the previews. Jake was more amused by Brady than what was on the screen. We all were.

The movie was pretty good. Not "gotta buy it on DVD" good, but still. Half way through, Jake spilled an Icee on himself. Sooo, he watched the rest of the film sans shirt. Funny stuff. The boys both hung in there with the flick and made it to the end without any major complaints. That's all I can ask for.

I had visions of Brady leaping over the seatbacks, and terrorizing other patrons with dinosaur growls. He surprised me and made me proud. Not that he doesn't make me proud anyway, but you know...

There's a different sort of pride when your child behaves in public as opposed to when they execute a perfect flying takedown on their older brother. And then Jake, not freaking about the Icee incident. Plus, reaching over and holding Brady's arm out of tenderness and not malice. Well, dadgummit it's the little things that count the most. Jake, Brady....I love you. You little cheeseballs.

Go fly a kite...

A few days ago I had the bright idea to go get some kites and well...fly them. I had the boys all pumped up for it too. We went to Wallyworld and found two Spiderman kites for a $1.00 each. Gotta love America. And Sam Walton.

So after hyping the boys up for how cool flying kites was gonna be, it was time to put up or shut up. Cindy and I took the dudes to a park near the house. We got the kites all put together and off we went. Except the kites. They kinda just sat there. No wind. Well, don't I look like a tool. Yeah boys, flying kites is awesome! Woo Hoo!

Eventually the wind picked up a little. Long enough for us to get Jake's kite up and snap this picture. It came crashing down about 2 minutes later. So, not all was lost but...I lost some cool points I think. Chalk one up to mother nature.

Bombs away!

Brady poops. Sometimes in his pants. Sometimes in the toilet. Never in the bath. Not yet at least. This picture is of him firing off his first real wave of porcelain assault bombs. He's a quick study and an eager participant. However, he is also a busy, busy man and cannot tear himself away from playtime sometimes to come and tell us it's time to do the #2 shuffle. Either way, we are one step closer to freedom from diapers.

What will we do with the extra money? Buy a new car? Buy name-brand clothing? Eat at a restaurant that doesn't serve chicken strips? Ohhh its almost too much to imagine. Hooray for potty training.

Here comes the serious train....

I am tired but I don't want to sleep right now. Too much to process. This past week has kind of been an information overload. Sometimes life hits you with full force, ready or not. Good or bad.

So, I turned 29. That was cool. I got to spend it with Cindy and the boys. Nothing fancy. No need for that. The boys drew me some awesome pictures that Cindy made into a book. Cin got me a great book about the Iwo Jima flag raisers. I highly recommend them both.

Then the other shoe dropped.

A call from Louisiana. My Aunt Maresa got some bad news from her doctor. Breast Cancer. From what I know it had spread partially to her lymph nodes. I am floored. I hate cancer. I hate what it can do. I hate that it exists. That we can't rid it from the face of the earth is inexcusable. I try to play tough, but inside I am shredded.

Almost 13 years ago, cancer took the life of my Aunt Linda. She was one of the coolest people I have ever known. She fought as hard as you can and then some. When chemo failed, she went alternative. When that failed, she went home. Just before she passed, I was too scared to go see her. My good-bye is incomplete and I will never forgive myself for that.

Cancer doesn't care how brave you are. Doesn't care how much you love your children. Doesn't care how much you are loved in return. Doesn't care about anything.

So now, we wait. Surgery has been performed, and chemo will start in the next few weeks. The doctor seems pretty upbeat I guess. I don't know, never met the dude. He better know his skill-set for his sake. In the mean time, we pray. We pray for her, and I'm asking that you do to. Even though you might not know her...just send a good one up for her. It can't hurt. If it helps.....rock on.

After taking that in a bit we got some good news. Yesterday, my buddy GW got to come home for his 2-week mid-tour leave. Cindy and I have known it was coming since December. His Mom didn't though. He finally got her. I wish I could have been there. I want to be there now. For him and for me. He always knows some interesting ways to get a persons mind off real life. He can also lay down some heavy truths and listen as you vent like a steam engine. He's a good friend and a great man. Welcome home G-Dub.

So...ups, downs, in-betweens. What's new though right? Life is still a pretty dadgum good proposition. No matter how sad I get, how many tears I cry....there is a smile waiting for me when I get home. Three smiles to be certain. Three people who give me perspective on all this weirdness. They reinforce these basic truths;

Tears dry. Wounds heal. Laughter is contagious. Smiles are free. Life happens, get on with it.

Habitual

I have been lazy. I am lazy. I will be lazy.

OK. SO....pictures are on the way. I have a lot of catching up to do so I'll save the uploading for a time in the near future, or distant future.

Jake and Brady. Jake and Brady. I almost never say one name without saying the other. Usually because they are both doing something outrageously dangerous to themselves or our possessions. Nothing new there.

Christmas. Tons o fun. The boys finally reached the age where they both were excited for the whole process. We did have a running dialogue about the real reason for Christmas, but to what effect...who knows? I think the idea of a fat dude who brings you stuff in exchange for good behavior and cookies is just too much brain ammo for them to squeeze in the religious aspect right now. Oh well, as long as it's in there somewhere.

The boys as usual received way too many presents for us to fit into the rotation. So, in original packaging they sit. Waiting for their turn to be enjoyed and destroyed...maybe not in that order.

We were able to make the rounds again this Christmas, and see a good portion of our family. The older I get, the more I realize how much I have taken that for granted. Hopefully next year, we'll get to see even more of the ones we love. Especially all the ones in Louisiana. Jake and Brady, if I didn't get you back there by the end of 2006, punch me. Hard. Leave a mark.

Hooray...its 2006. Uhhh. Not much partying went down on New Years Rockin' Eve. The boys got to stay up a little late, and Cindy zonked out promptly thereafter. So, there I sat. Me and the TV. Cindy got a smooch on the forehead at 12,(that she doesn't remember) and then it was lights out for me too.

The boys continued their rampage through the month of January, just getting things done J&B style. Toys were strewn. Matresses were jumped on. Nerves were frayed. We were attacked with hugs. Kisses were thrown about with reckless abandon. Love was the rule of the day. Everyday.

So, now it's February. Two more days and I'm 29. Holy Lord, how have I lived this long? One more year till 30. That doesn't sound bad. One more year. One more month. One more week. One more day. One more hour. One more minute. One more second. I'll take what I can get. I am blessed with the time I have with my wife and sons.

Looking back on 29 years, I haven't led a perfect life. Far from it. But, I must have pleased God somehow. At some time I must have made God smile. When I think about who God is, or how, or if God is, I always think of my boys. It is said that we are all God's children. Then he must feel about me, how I feel about Jake and Brady. When they mess up, I am disappointed. But I never stop loving them. Their mistakes fade into oblivion, but their triumphs I will always remember and hold close to my heart. God..if you are listening or logging in from heaven.net, I feel you, I know you, I owe you. Big time.

That time again...

I got the message loud and clear...so here's your dose.

Jake and Brady are still the coolest kids in the Universe. I would say in any Universe, but that would be blatant braggery.

Ok, so I left off before Turkey Day. It was good times, what can I say? We get to go eat fabulous food for free at two houses. Rock on. The boys had a great day. Jake ended up eating, I believe, 9 pieces of pumpkin pie. You would think his ticket would be punched for the rest of the year on the stuff, but no..he still asks for it.

Which brings us to..Christmas time. The boys are old enough now to really appreciate what is coming at them this weekend. I think they are getting the point about it really being about Jesus, but who know's? Children can be the greatest manipulators so maybe they just play along to entertain us. "Yeah, yeah..Happy Birthday Jesus, God is great, that Mary, what a gal...now how about those toys?" Either way, they are sweet as heck right now and I'm savoring the flavor.

Oh yeah, on a silly note, the boys have somehow decided the Wizard of Oz is the greatest movie of all time. The scary thing is, the more I watch it the more I agree with them. The movie was made in 1938 and the special effects are better than some "blockbusters" they try and force feed us these days. Furthermore, if you don't fall out laughing when the Lullaby League/Lollipop Guild hit the screen, dial 911 because your heart isn't beating. The dudes have every line in the movie memorized now. Jake can do the Scarecrow and Tin Man dances perfectly. Brady's little nasally voice crooning all the tunes is pure comedy. I can bust out a pretty good Cowardly Lion myself. Good times...

I'll get some pictures put up in a few days. In the meantime, have a great Christmas or whatever reason you have for spending time with those you love. If you can't be with the ones you love, remember all those cherished times when you were with them. Failing that, there's always eggnog. Cherish the eggnog.

Just take the pain...

The Dudes have a new favorite "Daddy Game". It involves me mistakenly laying down on my back and them jumping on my stomach and chest like I'm a trampoline. It would be cool, except that Jake weighs upwards of 40lbs now, and Brady is pushing 30lbs. So yeah, 70lbs on my torso kinda hinders my respiratory process a little. The sick thing is, I just let them do it, as long as they want to. Bruises be darned, I know my place in life and it's to entertain these two gents. So long as my body holds up...

Just another day...

Get up, barely. Brush my teeth. Get dressed. Stumble out the door. Drive. Kill bugs. Drive. Catch a rat. Drive. Eat lunch. Drive. Kill some ants. Drive. This is what I do. This is not who I am.

Come home. Hug my boys. Ask about their day. Read books. Kiss their mother when she comes in. Eat supper as a family. Tell silly stories at the table. Laugh at Brady's weird faces. Marvel at Jake's detailed stories and Brady's attempts to parrot them. After bath, it's cuddle and story time. Goodnight kisses. Brady gets the three way smoocheroo on the head and "I loves you's" all around. Tell Jake a funny story and tuck him in tight and tell him I love him. He returns the favor. Kiss my wife and tell her I love her before I sleep. My heart is full. This, is who I am.

Scary stuff

It's that time of year again. Time to get the chil'rens dressed up and go huntin' for candy. It almost feels like stealing when we take candy from people. Seeing as how we only let the boys eat maybe 5 pieces out of 200 or so, and we eat the rest..well I guess it IS stealing. Either way, it's a silly day and I am all for it. We need more retarded holidays in this Country.

This year was by far the best yet. As it fell on a Monday, that meant we had the whole weekend to pack in Pumpkinfest '05. We went to a cool party at Steve and Erika's. Brady lost his mind when he saw his cousin Adam dressed up like a skeleton. It WAS pretty scary so he loses no cool points for breaking down. Jake was as cool as the other side of the pillow. He know's I'm the scariest bear in the woods so some costume aint gonna get him excited.

Tonight, the boys strolled the 'hood with us and robbed our neighboors blind. We left with empty bags and came home with at least 5lbs of sugar, food coloring, soy lecithin, TBHQ and other interesting and delicious chemicals. Our little firefighters stole the show and a few hearts as well. Chicks dig the uniform...

Now, about the pictures. Those are from tonight about 20 minutes after we walked in the door. That is what you get when you give our boys ONE mini Nestle Crunch bar or any chocolate bar for that matter. They start flying. Something in chocolate makes their bodies reject gravity and they begin to hover. They eventually build up to full blown flight. Haunted houses? Who needs 'em? Nothing is scarier than a 2 or 3 year old jumping off a couch, with every intention of landing on your head or, a more..*ahem*..sensitive area.

Oh man...

The boys are getting rough. Not crazy rough yet, but rough enough. Jake has decided the best defense for Brady's offense is to lay down and let Brady try his best. Surprisingly this tactic is highly effective. "Little Brudda" gets worn out a lot faster then "Big Brudda" that way. When they grow bored with knocking each other around the house, they come after us.

Now this is what I always wanted little brothers for. Wrestling matches in the living room, where someone ends up laughing till they pee, cry, or both. I love rough-housing for a totally different reason now though. Sometimes, when Jake has completed his Tour de Force, he'll grab on to me, look at me all out of breath, panting, and say,"Daddy...I...Love...You".

Further proof that Heaven exists right here on Earth.

Happy Birthday Brady!

You little goofball...you're 2 years old! Huh? What? How? I can't believe it either buddy. You are growing so fast and having so much fun in the process. Not a day goes by that I don't end up rolling on the floor, laughing at something you've done or said. Your sense of humor, and comedic timing are so many levels above my own that I probably miss half of your jokes. Keep it up pal. Never stop making people laugh...and especially keep making yourself laugh.

Your party was awesome. Lots of your cousins, aunts, uncles...and of course, all four of your grandparents. When everybody got here, we had to wake you up for your own party. You and Jake took an extra long nap, you must've known you would need it. In fact, Jake kept right on sleeping until about 30 minutes after everyone was here. That's my boys...

After we got you dudes up, everyone played outside while I cooked the burgers. You played on the slide and in the grass and showed your cousin, Rachel, your secret hiding place behind the bushes. Then, everybody came inside and ate their burgers.

Next came the booty! No, not that kind. Toys. Presents. The good stuff. You got some super cool stuff this year. You had fun opening up your presents and you let some of your cousins help you out too. What a champ!

Finally...Cake Time. Oh yeah, your favorite part. Mommy and I stayed up late making you a Nemo cake. It was all worth it seeing the smile on your face. We all sang Happy Birthday and then you blew out the candle. Then..it was on! You chowed down on your cake and an ice cream cone. Phew...that was a lot of food for one little dude. Nice job you little animal.

I love you Brady...thank you for being my Son, and lighting up my world with your spirit.

Translation please...

The boys never cease to amuse me. Brady is getting very fluent in the English language. Sometimes though, he gets ahead of himself. He'll rattle off a series of words that to him, make sense. To us it sounds like either he is cussing us out in Chinese, or his tongue has fallen asleep. Jake though, he understands everything. So now all we have to do is ask Jake what, "Anna goside pain degwass n onaseyide" means. Jake will say,"Brady says he wants to go outside, play in the grass and on the slide." Whoa.

Now, it could be Jake puts him up to asking for things and therefore knows EXACTLY what Brady is saying...who knows? It's funny as heck either way.

At this very moment..I just heard them both yell to each other,"I LOVE YOU", from their beds. That's flippin awesome. Telling your best friend you love them right before you go to sleep. Awesome. Think I'll try that too.

The Zoo

The weather still sucks. However, we purchased a membership to the zoo. I'll be dadgum if we aren't getting our full use out of it this year. I like our zoo. The animals are pretty cool. You can kinda get close to them, without feeling "TOO" close to them. It's pretty spread out, so you get some good exercise. Parking is relatively easy. They have a really cool treehouse and a splash zone for the kids. It's nice and shady in most parts so you can almost feel comfortable in 100 degree heat.

Above all that though, we go for the food. Mexican food. Cheap Mexican food. Not real authentic stuff, but you just can't beat the atmosphere. The boys love to eat the "chips" from our taco salads. They get a black bean, tomato, and chicken breast fry-bread thing, which if they don't eat the fry-bread is darn healthy. Never had fry-bread? I feel bad for your taste buds, but your heart is better for it. It's basically lard and flour...fried in lard. Congestive heart failure anyone? We never let the dudes eat more than a few pinches of the stuff, but it gets eaten. Just not by them and not by Cindy.

Little Monkey

That's Brady. He's our resident shoe tester. If we happen to leave our shoes where they shouldn't be, this is what happens. He'll stomp all over the house saying, "I did it!" "I'm wearing Daddy's shoes!" This time he just happened to do it with no pants on. Actually, he's started doing a lot of stuff with no pants on. They boy likes to be free in the wind. What can I say, he takes after me.

Tonight we had spaghetti for supper. Jake calls it basketti. Brady calls it sketti. Cindy and I call it,"Oh, $#%@!" Somehow, we always forget just how disgusting little boys can make a nice meal. They'll start by slurping it up as loud as they can. Next come the bites that are twice the size of their mouth, thereby depositing half of a spoonfull on their lap. Then the flinging. My God, the flinging. Enough already. Finally they'll finish up with a little reverse slurping. Yes, that is just what you pictured. Not spitting, slowly releasing a noodle from their mouth while Cindy and I look at each other in disbelief. "How did we get so lucky?"

Far too long...

I apologize to all the faithful checkers-in at JB Central. I've been a tad busy this past week or so. I promise to be more faithful now that things are getting back to normal. An explanation follows;

Long story short, GW has deployed. I had the opportunity to spend a few days and nights with him at Ft. Campbell and I feel blessed to have done so. We both said what needed to be said and then some. I also got to meet his friends and fellow soldiers that are deployed with him. They all shared stories, thoughts and feelings with me that I will never forget. My friend is in good hands, as are his men. That is all I went up there needing to find out, and I did. Please say a prayer for these men before you rest your head at night.

Now, the boys..they are just...perfect. Jake has become the incredible thinking man lately. His memory and intellect are constantly making me feel like by the time he is 6 he will be smarter than I am. Maybe. Ok, fine..he passed me up six months ago. Can we move on? For example; used to be I could tell him something and he'd forget it within an hour or so. Like,"You can watch a movie after your bath." Tonight, LSU was playing a big game so I promised him after it was over we could watch a movie. That was about 4PM. So, we had supper, he played with Brady forever, blah, blah..then took his bath. The game went on until 8:30 or so. Forgetting my promise, I tell the boys it's time for bed. Jake just about came un-glued. "NO! You told me we could watch a movie when the football game was over!" Phew...a promise is a promise so we compromised and watched a little Wiggles action before bed.

Brady is quickly becoming a candidate for his own extreme-stunt reality show. Pain for him, is just not a factor in daily life. It seems to make his life more exciting and fun. Great. Super. If he makes it to 3 without braking something on his body or someone else's, I will be shocked. He's a happy little cannonball, but still...take it down a notch dude.

Happy Birthday Buddy!

3 years old today. Wow! You're getting too old, too quickly. We had such a great time today. What a cool party. What a cool kid. The whole house was Shrek green. You even had a Shrek cake. Mommy and I stayed up real late to make it for you, but it was no trouble at all. Anything to make you smile. You got to play with a bunch of your cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Everyone had a great time. We had hamburgers for supper and then lots and lots of Shrek cake and ice-cream for dessert. You got so many presents, I have no idea where we are going to put them all. Nice haul pal. It pays to be a cool dude.

I'm so proud of you Son. I love you more than clouds love the sky. Happy Birthday.

Look what we can do...

The weather was pretty darn mild this morning. A few more days of this and it's a trend. A few weeks of it and..no..can it be? Fall? Already? I don't think I'm that lucky.

Me and the boys took advantage of the situation and got outside for some fresh air. As soon as I told the dudes we were going outside, it was all I could do to unlock the door, before they ran through it. I turned the misters on and just sat back and took it in. Watching them play is one of the great pleasures in my life. They go at it like it's their first and last time to play together. One of them will discover something new to do, and the other one wants to learn how right away. They must spend 90% of their day smiling or laughing. Makes me tired just thinking about it.

After our romp in the great outdoors, we came in for lunch. They scarfed down their tuna sandwiches, pickles, and chips and salsa. Yep, chips and salsa. My boys like what I like...go figure. Now if I can just convince them that ESPN is more entertaining than the Disney Channel...all we be right with my world.

Wits end

So, tonight at supper we had a grand ole time. The battle for control of the supper table is still raging. They will eat...in between fits of hysterical laughter at one another's jokes. It's getting down-right ridiculous. It got bad tonight. After the umpteenth time telling Jake to stop joking around and eat his green beans and chicken, I was at my wits end. My brain must've been tired of it too, because at one point all I could say was,"Eat'em green." I guess I was trying to say,"Eat those green beans." The boys laughed at that order for about five minutes. Someone tell me this is a common thing and that unruly children cannot cause mild strokes.

Otherwise, the Dudes had a good day. Jake got busted for swiping a finger-full of pumpkin pie in the fridge. When we questioned him on it he laughed and said,"Yep, I did it." His honesty earned him a sizable slice of the good stuff. After he finished his green beans of course.

I also gave the boys haircuts tonight. Whoever invented electric clippers, or more importantly the plastic attachments...you rock. Without those things, I think we'd have to pay someone to do it. I can barely cut a straight line on construction paper with scissors. These thick fingers just weren't meant to do that delicate work. With the clippers though I can make their hair look at least Wal-Mart quality. Sometimes, even Super-Cuts cool. Just one of my many talents. Yeah, right.

The hunter and his prey...

We took a trip to Toys R Us today. The boy's birthdays are coming up so we had to find out what they really NEED. If you have ever been to our house, you know they don't need anything. Our little house is just a large toybox. There is not a room in here where you can take three steps without bumping into something that squeaks, beeps, plays music, or is just plain squishy. What the heck though right, one or two more can't hurt. Much.

Brady found this huge Nemo. He looks like he's on his way to do something violent to him. Look closely and you can see Nemo's not too excited about Brady's disposition. The picture is deceiving though. Nemo is Brady's favorite aquatic creature at the moment. I don't think he would do anything to hurt him...intentionally.