Uncle G

This is the boys favorite video of their Uncle G. At random times of the day, they will just yell,"Action", and start pretending to send rounds downrange. Pretty dadgum cool.

Toys R Us

It's a good place. It's a terrible place.

If you don't have kids with you...it's magical.
If you do have kids with you...it's magical.

If you don't have kids with you and you have to leave...disappointing, but doable.
If you do have kids with you and you have to leave...it's like they have gone straight to hell, and you (The Devil) are going to enjoy torturing them for all eternity by making them leave toy stores.

Toys R Us is a terrible, terrible place.



It's still pretty cool though. Even if I am the devil. Sorry boys.

Pop Quiz

OK hotshot. You have two boys who have obviously been in each others company for far too long. Screaming, fighting, pestering, and otherwise annoying each other. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!?

A) Separate them. But how?
B) Let them run free in the backyard.
C) Put them both in timeout.
D) Hug them until they are both mad at you instead of each other.
E) Dial 911

You have 15 seconds to submit your answer. Failure to do so will result in a total lack of respect from yours truly. As if that means a dadgum thing.

Tadpoles

It's hot. Water keeps your body from melting. Costco had a big inflatable pool for $40. I had the day off. Rock on.

Square Table Discussion

So, in my younger days I collected some cool posters. Mostly comic book/superhero stuff. After I married my fetching bride, they soon found their way into the abyss of storage. But, oh-ho-ho, what's this? The dudes are finally superhero freaks! I dug deep into the garage and pulled out a big roll of dusty posters the other day and now it's game on.

This particular poster is one with a lot of the Marvel Universe characters. The boys love pointing out the different guys and gals and making up crazy names for them. I found myself getting all geeked out and trying to explain all their superpowers. "Oh, check out Captain America, he was injected with the super-soldier serum in WWII and he doesn't age and still kicks Nazi butt and check out his shield, made from adamantium, when he throws it, it always comes back to him!" The boys just gave me that,"Who asked you?" look and continued their discussion. Not surprisingly, I get that look about 20 times a day around here. And not just from the boys. Oh, just wait until I crack open my comic book collection....

Souper Salad

This place is kinda the high-quality of the low-quality salad bar themed restaurants. It's not ever gonna win an award. Except maybe for passing the state health exam with flying colors. Hopefully. You got your salad, fixin's, wildly underseasoned pasta salad assortment, semi-fresh fruit, soups du jour, questionable taco/sloppy joe meat, cracker bread pizza, rockin' breads in a stay fresh box, and of course the erstwhile soft serve machine and topping bar. It all adds up to culinary mediocrity but the dudes flippin' love it.

Here is a sample of their typical meal at The Soup;

Black Olives
Pepperoni
Cauliflower
Sunflower Seeds
Soup
Salad
Gingerbread
Mommy's croutons
Water
Ice Cream

Give or take a few variations, this is what they always want. Kids are weird. MY kids are SOUPer weird.

"Happy Easter!"

Easter 2006. I am pleased. This was by far the best Easter I have ever had in my 29 years. The boys were psyched up for it. Cindy and I were excited. The world just felt right. We got to spend some real good time with our families. We got to spend some nice quiet time with just the four of us as well. Candy was eaten in moderation. Nobody got hurt. Sweetness and good cheer were the rule, not the exception. And...what's this?? The dudes didn't have one single fight the whole day? Thank you Jesus.

Pictures are available upon request. I am dialing it up right now, and it takes around 4-5 years to post pictures. A remedy is in the works.

Wizard of Oz Medley

This is what we get at supper everynight...and pretty much whenever they feel like breaking into song.

"Hi, Everybody!"

That is Jake talking. We have now entered a new, scary dimension on this blog. The boys will now be giving un-edited shout-outs to all of you on a regular basis. Prepare.

Google Dudes

Go to GOOGLE and type in "Jake and Brady are crazy" and click "I'm feeling lucky". You can't argue with the almighty Google.

UPDATE!!

OK so I guess my instructions were too vague and some of you are a little confused. I'll save you the time. If you follow my instructions, Google will just link you right back to Jake and Brady Central. Now, that I think about it, it's not that amusing but well, yeah..to me it is. Go on about your business.

Top Ten

I always enjoy a good top-ten list. So, I'm gonna try my hand at one here and if it goes over well, who knows. Maybe it'll be a regular space filler. Maybe it'll become an annoying chain e-mail and go all the way around the World and by the time it gets back to me I will only have 20 minutes to e-mail it to 20 friends or I will never find true love/happiness/wealth/friendship/matching socks! I'll take my chances.



Top Ten Reasons to Have Children

1) Everyday you get to wake up as someone's hero. Cape and mask optional.
2) No matter how cool you think you are, your kid will be cooler.
3) You can name the child anything you want. Yes, even that.
4) When's the last time you lost a tickle fight? On purpose. Repeatedly.
5) Baby food is surprisingly tasty. Also, it unstain-proofs, stain-proof fabric.
6) What makes diapers super absorbent? You'll find out! The hard way.
7) You gotta read more books. Even if they are 5 pages long and have no words.
8) Kids will forgive you for almost anything. Even when you can't forgive yourself.
9) Your car has special child safety features you aren't even using. What a waste!
10 You are going to die soon enough. Get busy living for someone else for a change.

Happy Anniversary

Happy *cough* anni*cough*versary *cough-cough* sweetheart!

I wish this past weekend would have been one filled with high romance and long passionate kisses. Instead, the boys and I got hammered into the ground by some kind of devilish chest cold. I can tell you now though I had plans..oh yes I had plans. I swear I did. Really.

Anyhoo. 7 years of marriage. What the H? How do you do it? Why do you do it? Why is the sky blue? Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried? All these questions...

Now if memory serves, we have been dating/going-out/seeing-eachother, etc. for...holy cheese...almost 14 YEARS! Is that right? Woah. Try this one; next year at this time, we will have been together for half our lives. Freaky. Cool, but freaky.

It seems like just yesterday I was standing in my parents' backyard holding you and asking you to be my girlfriend. I was 15 years old. If I had known all that hung in the balance of your answer, I might not have asked. What if you had said no?...

There would be no first kiss. I would never have gotten to know your absurdly large family so well. I wouldn't have had to face your Dad and his legal pad of questions when asking for your hand in marriage. There wouldn't be a ring under the tree on Christmas Eve for you. No hilariously boring wedding "classes." No wedding. I wouldn't have seen how beautiful you were in your wedding dress. No standing up, kneeling, sitting, kneeling, kneeling, standing, kneeling and sweating profusely in a rented tuxedo with a smile on my face as we took our vows. No kick-A reception afterwards. No San Diego. No first apartment. Nothing. There would be no us.

And there would be no THEM. No Jake. No Brady. Phew! Man, you really hit a homerun there slugger! I served it up slow and straight, but you really drove that sucker deep. How about that? All you had to say was one magic word, two times, and look what we got out of it.

Thank you for all that your life has brought to mine. You fill my heart up in ways my feeble mind can't express. I love you forever.

Putting the "O" in Zoo

So we went to the Zoo on Sunday. It's been a pretty regular Sunday kinda thing this past month. Summer is literally days away it seems, so we have to get out while we can. So, this Sunday we took 'ol Grandpa "O" to the zoo with us. Grandma Mimi was back in Louisiana for the weekend so it was just us 5 this time.

The place was packed, but it's big enough to spread around so it wasn't too bad. The boys had a good time just wandering around for a bit. Then we decided to get a bite to eat. All the usual suspects; chicken taco salads, chicken fry bread, etc. Again, I can't stress this point enough: If you live in the Maricopa County area..get your mouth to Cafe Lobo at the Phoenix Zoo. Rockin' food at crazy-cheap prices.

Anyway, after lunch the boys put the hard sell on "O" for some dessert. Jake wanted an ice cream-sandwich and Brady wanted cotton candy. Mmmmm...sugar. Jake ate his treat as usual, with no mess and not a drop wasted. Brady....well. Turns out he wanted just PURPLE cotton candy so he had to dig through the rainbow colored bag until he found the good stuff. He was just hurling it out at "O" as fast as he could. Hence the smile on the old man's face. The picture of Brady is classic B-man shenanigans. Give him sugar and opportunity and he'll make you belly laugh every time.

Opposites

I have come to the conclusion that for all Jake and Brady's striking similarities, they are actually complete opposites.

-Where Jake walks, Brady runs.
-Brady eats the protein first, Jake starts with the vegetable.
-Jake likes to read books, Brady likes to destroy them.
-Brady doesn't relly care for sweets, Jake will eat pumpkin pie until he explodes.
-Jake likes to cuddle, Brady likes to harass.

Is there a pattern there? If you haven't gathered thusfar, Brady is indeed the crazy one. Jake has his moments though. It's crazy how one dude picks up where the other leaves off. We get the full spectrum of boyhood, good and bad. Mostly good though.

Like this little scene that played out recently; I had been telling Brady not to kick the wall in the toyroom. He could only manage about 15 seconds of restraint and then his self-control would fail him. So, I went in and got in his face, raised my voice, and told him not to do it again or he was going to timeout. He was cool with that until I left the room and then he started crying. Not the usual angry cry but a sad cry. Like I had told him to stop breathing. Just as I was heading back in there, I hear Jake calmly saying,"It's OK Brady. He's not mad at you. He still loves you. He just doesn't want you to kick the wall anymore." I turn the corner and Jake has an arm around Brady's shoulders and Brady has stopped crying. What am I supposed to do with that? Jake is 3. 3 YEARS OLD! 3 years old and he's in-tune with his brother's emotional needs enough to embrace him and tell him his Father's not an A-Hole.

What did I do after that? What could I do? I backed out of the room and let the two "opposites" have their moment as one. Once again, I am humbled by the knee-high crowd. Nice job boys.

Conflict of Interest

Houston...we have a problem;

Jake likes to cuddle with his Mommy.
I like to cuddle with my Wife.
Problem is, this is the same woman.

Jake will not share her with me.

I am not to be seen hugging, kissing, touching or standing within a close proximity to "His" Mommy.

If I break his rules, I get his wrath. Plain and simple.

Screaming, growling, pushing, and calling me,"Bad Daddy".

Allright then.

Jake, you are nuts.

I can't wait until you bring your first girlfriend home.

Good times, good times.

Curious George...

Well, today was Monday. Which means it is my one day of the week to celebrate masculinity with Jake and Brady. You know, lots of booger and poop talk and wrasslin' around the house. Just the boys. Good times. Anyway, I had another one of my infamously bright ideas. "Let's go see Curious George when Mommy gets home." Sure. Right. Like it's that simple.

Brady has never been to a movie in a theater and Jake has been 2 or 3 times. If you know Brady you know why. He's a bit more controllable now, so I thought I would chance it. Wait, controllable is not the right word. Predictable. That's better. He's a mess, count on it.

Anyhoo, Cindy got home for lunch and was unfairly confronted with the information that Daddy had indeed promised a trip to the movies later. Being the ever doting mother she reassuringly smiled at the boys and shot me a backhanded look that said,"Nice work, moron." She is used to me. What can I say?

So skip ahead to the show. Fortunately, I grossly overestimated the amount of time we would need to get there. We were 40 minutes early, and the only ones in the theater. We've got our smuggled M&M's, water, etc., cleverly tucked away in the diaper-backpack-thingy. We took our seats. When I say we, I mean Cindy and I. Jake and Brady thought it would be more fun to run laps up, down and all around the auditorium. OK. Tire yourselves out. Except, they don't get tired. They just keep going. How?

After 25 minutes or so, a few other people show up so it was time to hunker down. The lights finally got low, and the boys' eyes got huge. Brady was loving it. Squealing that nasally little squeal and laughing at the previews. Jake was more amused by Brady than what was on the screen. We all were.

The movie was pretty good. Not "gotta buy it on DVD" good, but still. Half way through, Jake spilled an Icee on himself. Sooo, he watched the rest of the film sans shirt. Funny stuff. The boys both hung in there with the flick and made it to the end without any major complaints. That's all I can ask for.

I had visions of Brady leaping over the seatbacks, and terrorizing other patrons with dinosaur growls. He surprised me and made me proud. Not that he doesn't make me proud anyway, but you know...

There's a different sort of pride when your child behaves in public as opposed to when they execute a perfect flying takedown on their older brother. And then Jake, not freaking about the Icee incident. Plus, reaching over and holding Brady's arm out of tenderness and not malice. Well, dadgummit it's the little things that count the most. Jake, Brady....I love you. You little cheeseballs.

Go fly a kite...

A few days ago I had the bright idea to go get some kites and well...fly them. I had the boys all pumped up for it too. We went to Wallyworld and found two Spiderman kites for a $1.00 each. Gotta love America. And Sam Walton.

So after hyping the boys up for how cool flying kites was gonna be, it was time to put up or shut up. Cindy and I took the dudes to a park near the house. We got the kites all put together and off we went. Except the kites. They kinda just sat there. No wind. Well, don't I look like a tool. Yeah boys, flying kites is awesome! Woo Hoo!

Eventually the wind picked up a little. Long enough for us to get Jake's kite up and snap this picture. It came crashing down about 2 minutes later. So, not all was lost but...I lost some cool points I think. Chalk one up to mother nature.

Bombs away!

Brady poops. Sometimes in his pants. Sometimes in the toilet. Never in the bath. Not yet at least. This picture is of him firing off his first real wave of porcelain assault bombs. He's a quick study and an eager participant. However, he is also a busy, busy man and cannot tear himself away from playtime sometimes to come and tell us it's time to do the #2 shuffle. Either way, we are one step closer to freedom from diapers.

What will we do with the extra money? Buy a new car? Buy name-brand clothing? Eat at a restaurant that doesn't serve chicken strips? Ohhh its almost too much to imagine. Hooray for potty training.

Here comes the serious train....

I am tired but I don't want to sleep right now. Too much to process. This past week has kind of been an information overload. Sometimes life hits you with full force, ready or not. Good or bad.

So, I turned 29. That was cool. I got to spend it with Cindy and the boys. Nothing fancy. No need for that. The boys drew me some awesome pictures that Cindy made into a book. Cin got me a great book about the Iwo Jima flag raisers. I highly recommend them both.

Then the other shoe dropped.

A call from Louisiana. My Aunt Maresa got some bad news from her doctor. Breast Cancer. From what I know it had spread partially to her lymph nodes. I am floored. I hate cancer. I hate what it can do. I hate that it exists. That we can't rid it from the face of the earth is inexcusable. I try to play tough, but inside I am shredded.

Almost 13 years ago, cancer took the life of my Aunt Linda. She was one of the coolest people I have ever known. She fought as hard as you can and then some. When chemo failed, she went alternative. When that failed, she went home. Just before she passed, I was too scared to go see her. My good-bye is incomplete and I will never forgive myself for that.

Cancer doesn't care how brave you are. Doesn't care how much you love your children. Doesn't care how much you are loved in return. Doesn't care about anything.

So now, we wait. Surgery has been performed, and chemo will start in the next few weeks. The doctor seems pretty upbeat I guess. I don't know, never met the dude. He better know his skill-set for his sake. In the mean time, we pray. We pray for her, and I'm asking that you do to. Even though you might not know her...just send a good one up for her. It can't hurt. If it helps.....rock on.

After taking that in a bit we got some good news. Yesterday, my buddy GW got to come home for his 2-week mid-tour leave. Cindy and I have known it was coming since December. His Mom didn't though. He finally got her. I wish I could have been there. I want to be there now. For him and for me. He always knows some interesting ways to get a persons mind off real life. He can also lay down some heavy truths and listen as you vent like a steam engine. He's a good friend and a great man. Welcome home G-Dub.

So...ups, downs, in-betweens. What's new though right? Life is still a pretty dadgum good proposition. No matter how sad I get, how many tears I cry....there is a smile waiting for me when I get home. Three smiles to be certain. Three people who give me perspective on all this weirdness. They reinforce these basic truths;

Tears dry. Wounds heal. Laughter is contagious. Smiles are free. Life happens, get on with it.

Habitual

I have been lazy. I am lazy. I will be lazy.

OK. SO....pictures are on the way. I have a lot of catching up to do so I'll save the uploading for a time in the near future, or distant future.

Jake and Brady. Jake and Brady. I almost never say one name without saying the other. Usually because they are both doing something outrageously dangerous to themselves or our possessions. Nothing new there.

Christmas. Tons o fun. The boys finally reached the age where they both were excited for the whole process. We did have a running dialogue about the real reason for Christmas, but to what effect...who knows? I think the idea of a fat dude who brings you stuff in exchange for good behavior and cookies is just too much brain ammo for them to squeeze in the religious aspect right now. Oh well, as long as it's in there somewhere.

The boys as usual received way too many presents for us to fit into the rotation. So, in original packaging they sit. Waiting for their turn to be enjoyed and destroyed...maybe not in that order.

We were able to make the rounds again this Christmas, and see a good portion of our family. The older I get, the more I realize how much I have taken that for granted. Hopefully next year, we'll get to see even more of the ones we love. Especially all the ones in Louisiana. Jake and Brady, if I didn't get you back there by the end of 2006, punch me. Hard. Leave a mark.

Hooray...its 2006. Uhhh. Not much partying went down on New Years Rockin' Eve. The boys got to stay up a little late, and Cindy zonked out promptly thereafter. So, there I sat. Me and the TV. Cindy got a smooch on the forehead at 12,(that she doesn't remember) and then it was lights out for me too.

The boys continued their rampage through the month of January, just getting things done J&B style. Toys were strewn. Matresses were jumped on. Nerves were frayed. We were attacked with hugs. Kisses were thrown about with reckless abandon. Love was the rule of the day. Everyday.

So, now it's February. Two more days and I'm 29. Holy Lord, how have I lived this long? One more year till 30. That doesn't sound bad. One more year. One more month. One more week. One more day. One more hour. One more minute. One more second. I'll take what I can get. I am blessed with the time I have with my wife and sons.

Looking back on 29 years, I haven't led a perfect life. Far from it. But, I must have pleased God somehow. At some time I must have made God smile. When I think about who God is, or how, or if God is, I always think of my boys. It is said that we are all God's children. Then he must feel about me, how I feel about Jake and Brady. When they mess up, I am disappointed. But I never stop loving them. Their mistakes fade into oblivion, but their triumphs I will always remember and hold close to my heart. God..if you are listening or logging in from heaven.net, I feel you, I know you, I owe you. Big time.