9-11-01

Five years ago I was in bed asleep. Your mom was getting ready for work. She turned on the television, not a normal part of her morning ritual. What she saw was anything but normal. Chaos was unfolding on live TV. A horrible, terrible, historic moment in our Nation's history, and I was sleeping. She came in and told me to wake up, that I had to see this. That's all she said. I sat up, turned on the TV in our bedroom and watched. She left to go to work and we didn't even say goodbye.

When the TV came on I just saw flames in a tall building. I wish I could've closed my eyes. Maybe a minute after I started watching, I called my friend Mark and told him to turn on his TV. We both watched as a plane flew into another building. We maybe said 5 or more words in the next hour. We couldn't stop watching and we couldn't hang up the phone. Our Country, our beautiful Country, was being attacked and there was nothing we could do, but watch.

In a few minutes, we would learn about two other planes and two other attacks. Still, no words could express our emotions. We didn't need to speak. Everyone knew what was happening, but we didn't want to admit it. Like maybe we were all just watching a movie that would end eventually. It just never ended.

On that day, heroes were made and lost by the thousands. Firefighters, policeman, soldiers, ordinary citizens. All heroes. I felt shame that I couldn't help. I drove down to the blood bank and was turned away...too many donors. When your mom got home, we just watched. I don't remember talking. I remember crying. I remember being angry. I wanted it all to just go away. I wanted vengeance.

Tonight, I am sitting footsteps away, from thousands of soldiers who stood up and volunteered to bring vengeance to the doorsteps of those who perpetrated these acts. Men and women, who have gone into the face of certain danger time and time again. Your Uncle G is one of those soldiers. He is on his way back home from Iraq. He has spent over two years of his life there.

In those two years I have celebrated your birthdays. Taken you to movies. Told you bedtime stories. Kissed you goodnight and told you I loved you. Everyday. It is my privilege. A privilege paid for by better men than me, who have given their tomorrow for my today. There are Fathers who will never get to see their children. Never know the joys of parenthood I know. I am eternally grateful.