Meal time

You know what? Meal time around here can be just short of excruciating. No it's not physically painful, but mentally it's a killer.

When the boys were small, we counted on at least an hour or more to finish our meals. Little guys just learning to feed themselves are sloppy, slow, and hilarious. So, we let them take their time and finish at their leisure. They were always good eaters, never picky, just slow.

Fast forward to now. The are still good eaters, still not picky, but still...slow. Not because they haven't learned how to get a fork in their mouth. Oh no. It's because they have more words, jokes, movie lines, and strange noises coming out of their mouths than food going into their mouths.

Take a bite.
Tell a joke.
(Pause for laughter)
Take a bite.
Cut a crazy look at your brother.
(Pause for laughter)
Take a bite.
Say, "I'm Mike Wazowski"!
(Pause for laughter)
Take a bite.
Do a crazy dance.
(Pause for laughter)
Take a bite.
Inform the table that you have to go to the bathroom and what's going to come out when you do. (Pause for laughter and/or rolling on the ground)
Take a bite.

All the while, my brain is melting. No matter what we try, the only thing that stops the madness is separating them. The one who has done the most wrong takes the walk of shame to the dining room, the other stays at the kitchen table. Then there is peace. Along with sad looks, and pouty lips, there is peace.