Lately I've been trying to do more listening to the boys instead of talking at them. I was getting too carried away with my constant jabber mouth at them. With everything going on with Nick, I realized they aren't bad kids and they will keep getting better at this whole life thing if I just back off a bit. Just watch them do it and give them pointers where I can. They need to screw up. They need to get hurt. They need to feel disappointment. They need to fail.
So, I have let them fail, but let them learn how to succeed. They spill things, but then they learn to clean it up. They break stuff, but then they learn to fix what is broken. They get hurt, but learn to take care of themselves. This stuff is not easy. I am all about taking control and keeping control of each and every situation. But, that crap doesn't fly with kids. It stunts their growth as people. It makes them fearful of life because they never learn how to handle what the world will throw at them.
Every day my little dudes get introduced to situations I would rather they not be in. Sometimes I am there to see it first hand, but often times I am not. This makes me sick to my stomach. But it also make me proud of how they handle themselves when the shit hits the fan. Where other kids might freak out, they are calm. Where other kids may use violence to solve a problem, they use their words. If they see a friend who needs help, they are there right away without hesitation.
I am not trying to pat myself on the back here for my totally new and innovative parenting style. It's not new...just new to me. Plus, there is that pretty lady upstairs sleeping that does more than her share of parenting and therefore deserves the lion's share of credit. And of course, I owe a debt of gratitude to my man Nick, who has shown me that if I just chill the hell out...life is much more fun.
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Contributors
All the commandments which I command thee this day shall ye observe to do, that ye may live, and multiply, and go in and possess the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers. And thou shalt remember all the way which the LORD thy God led thee these forty years in the wilderness, to humble thee, and to prove thee, to know what was in thine heart, whether thou wouldest keep his commandments, or no. And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the LORD doth man live.
Deuteronomy 8:1-3 (KJV)
Provided by Christ Notes Bible Search
1 comment:
Mauri,
You are very wise to take this approach to parenting! The one complaint, (well maybe not the only one), that my kids had was that I tried too hard to prevent them from making mistakes. I tried too hard to protect them from the knocks and bumps of the world. I thought I was preparing them for what may come. Instead of letting them encounter and learn from those encounters. At 10 years old my son told me that I could not keep him or his sister, from making the same mistakes that I made. Theirs were theirs to make and not mine! He also told me that anger is always fear based, but that is another whole story……..However, I am the consummate control freak! You’re right it really doesn’t work with kids. It’s true that it makes you sick to watch but you are so much the better parent for standing back. Wish I had learned this way back when! And you've got great kids!!!!!
Post a Comment