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The insanity continues.

I finished the latest addition to the outfield (backyard) wall a few days ago. Yes, I know the grass needs to be trimmed along the wall. I promise I did it right after I took this picture. Anyhoo...the sign is about 15 inches in diameter and it's about 56 feet from home plate. I was going to make it worth more, but Jake is learning to place his shots really well, and thus I would be in severe financial straits pretty quickly.

Now, all that's left is to paint a giant "Beat the Yankees" on the wall. You see, I hold no particular MLB team close to my heart. I like 'em all for different reasons. All except one. I loathe the Yankees. Top to bottom a sorry bunch of bums. The boys are both right handed and like to hit drives to the opposite field. I will paint it on my right field wall so they can constantly pound line drives off it. In fact, I think I will give them another quarter each time they chip a little paint of the sign.

Boys, time to earn your allowance.

It Rhymes!

OK, Mommy here posting this afternoon. I just had to quote something Jake said to me after school today. Jake has always been really good at finding rhyming words . He was sitting on the couch having a snack when he said:

"Mommy, this rhymes. Zoo-poo. Poo-zoo....I am so smart."

And yes, Jake, you are smart. As "out of nowhere" as that comment was, it did rhyme. I have to give you that!

Good Times

Me and B just got back from taking Jake to school. I sat down to do what I do and Brady was just kind of standing there staring at me.

"What's on your mind Bub?"

"Im just thinkin 'bout, 'bout how much I love you."

Then he ran over and hugged me and we got some good cuddles in for a few minutes. No words needed, just hugs and breathing.
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Then yesterday, after I put Jake's shoes on, I grabbed him and cradled him like a little baby. He laughed so hard and then looked up at me with those big brown eyes.

"Daddy why are you always hugging me so much."

"Because I love you so much Jakey. No matter how big you get I will always hold you and kiss you."

"Not when I am thirty though..right? I will be too big to hold."

"Even if you are bigger than me buddy. I will always hold you when you need me too or when I just want to."

"But, if I am too heavy you can't hold me."

"Trust me, I will find a way."

He looked up at me and gave me the biggest sweetest smile.

"I love you Daddy."

"I love you to Jake."

Mr. Bubble

Mr. Bubble is liquid smiles. No, this isn't a paid advertisement.

Uncle Jarrod

Today the middle school baseball team Uncle Jarrod coaches took second place in the championship game. Sure, everyone would have loved to see them win it all, but getting that close is pretty awesome. Learn the lesson here boys. See all those kids with smiles on their faces? Are they sad that they didn't win? Nope. They are happy to have played. They have a great coach who lets them have fun. So much fun that even after they lost the game they gave him a gatorade bath.

Good job J-Rod.

Daddy has bad dreams too

Last night or actually early this morning, I had a horrible dream. It was a variation on a recurring dream I have had since I found out I was going to be a Father 5 years ago: someone taking my child/children from me. Last night it was about both boys being held by some guy who wanted to get back at me for something. In my dream I could feel their fear, feel his hate and I was just helpless. When I awoke I was physically sick to my stomach.

My dreams have a tendency of staying with me throughout the day. All day I have hugged the boys a little tighter, stared at their faces a little more, tried to listen a little better. As much as I try and protect them from bad things I know it's impossible to shield them from everything and that nags the heck out of me. So at night those fears surface in my dreams and boy...talk about vivid. In my dreams all five senses are hyper alert and I remember almost all of them. When they are good, man it's great. I have a little bounce in my step the next day. But when they are bad, I feel like I am carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.

Usually I can kind of program my brain into having good dreams, but most of the time I am lazy and forget to do it. Tonight, I am going to try and focus on everything good that we have going on. The boys are so excited by life and everything in it and that's where I want my mind to take me, into their dreams. Make some room boys, I need a little silly time tonight.

Found in the garage...

While I am riding the high from our little victory over junk let me share something else with you that makes me smile. I AM A NERD. Specifically a comic book nerd. Not scary, camp out for movie tickets or go to comic-cons dressed as Wolverine, or write fan letters to obscure comic artists. I have seriously considered doing all these things, but never got further than a sloppy plan. So...yeah I like the comic books and all things comic bookish. Before the kids I went so far as to buy hundreds, nay thousands of comic books. Which led into posters. Which led into toys. Which led into statues and busts. Which led into Cindy forcing me to take harsh inventory of my life.

After careful consideration I stopped obsessively collecting what Cindy calls "#%&@". Then magically the kids came along. I forgot about comics for a while. Sure, I would pick up the occasional copy but never got back into the spirit of it. Babies have a way of making you want to do just one thing with your free time...sleep. But baby boys grow into little boys and little boys love superheroes.

So, what you see here is about 25% of my collection of what used to be just dusty memories. Now, they are yet another way for me to connect with my boys. One day they may think I am a silly, silly old man, but right now...I am king.

What the... We have a garage?

We all spent the past weekend clearing out 8 years of accumulated nonsense out of the garage. The boys found some hidden treasures and we finally got organized enough to actually sell a good amount of stuff we didn't need. By this coming weekend we should have it cleared enough to actually use it for it's intended purpose, a place to park vehicles. Imagine that.

Before...

After.

Whoa...hey new couches? Nope, Ma and Poppy's old ones on consignment. Got 'em a buyer coming tomorrow. Sweeeeet.

Brady and the evil ice cube

See that cut on his lip? Wasn't from Jake. Wasn't from playing to close to the bricks on the fireplace. Wasn't even from swinging from the chandelier. It's from an ice cube. An ice cube that was stuck to his lip. He was getting himself a cup full of ice for his water he decided to stick one of the cubes in his mouth but it never made it past his lip. He yanked it off resulting in a split lip. This little dude just has bad, bad luck sometimes. Sorry kiddo, you get it from me.

Farewell to absorbency

Brady is now officially a big kid. No more pull-ups at night time. He's been without them during the day for a long time, but at night he'd need it once in a while up until a few weeks ago. Now he's a full-time underwear man. No accidents the whole time. Awesome. We now have an extra $15-20 a month to burn. Double awesome. You're the man B.

VT

I cannot imagine the horror and sorrow the parents of these kids are going through. I pray that one day they can find some peace with this.

That being said, I need to comment on what I would like to happen in the wake of this latest and most tragic school shooting. Why? Not only because my kids are both about to be in school but also because my wife is a teacher. When she first started there was no epidemic of school violence. Now there is. It's obvious to me that parents, doctors, and the judicial system have dropped the ball on stopping these people before they get to the doors of the school, guns in hand. So what now? What do we do?

Do you outlaw gun ownership? Sure. Take away all the guns in the world. Just make them all disappear, Merlin. Take all the cops from their regular duties and focus on seizing every firearm in the world. That shouldn't take too long and I'm sure the criminals would be very forthcoming with their weapons. Let's be realistic. Taking away guns is not the answer. We are way past that point now and it's not going to change.

Should gun laws be tougher? Undoubtedly. A person with a history of being committed to a mental institution shouldn't be allowed to buy a firearm. You know what though, all they do to screen for that is a yes/no question on the application. Seriously. As a gun owner, I have filled out quite a few of these and when it gets to that question I always laugh a little at how ludicrous it is. A currently or formerly batshit insane person can check "no" and have a gun as easily as anyone else. There has got to be a reliable database created and added to NICS to screen for this, regardless of what the "feel-good" folks have to say. Sometimes, discrimination is a good thing.

My immediate wants and desires revolve around one of my favorite sayings..."the best offense is a good defense".

- I want teachers and administration to have access to Tasers. They don't have to carry them, but if they want to, and get certified to have one, they should be allowed. I don't think teachers should carry firearms. That opens up another set of tragedies to occur. However, a gunman can easily be incapacitated by a Taser in the hands of a basically trained individual, even under enormous amounts of stress.

- I want bulletproof doors installed in classrooms. Cindy's school already has a great "lockdown procedure", but without bulletproof doors it serves a limited purpose.

- I want the explosive sniffing detectors they have at airports to be installed in entrances to schools.

- I want a police officer on resource duty at all elementary schools, not just middle and high schools.

I don't think any of these things are too far fetched to ask for. If we can introduce new taxes to pay for new sports stadiums, fancy new public transportation, new prisons, etc., I think we can put one up to equip our schools and teachers with appropriate safety devices to stop or deter these animals from harming our families.

Aside from that, I am going to hug my children, kiss my children and be all up in their business for the rest of their lives so I know exactly what is going on in their heads at all times. That is my responsibility not only to them but to the rest of the World.

Taking care of Brady

Brady has asthma. Pretty mild asthma, but still it's there. When the air gets nasty outside, we know the little man's gonna be coughing quite bit. It's been pretty windy the past week so, the cough is back. It happens mostly at night and there is very little we can do except go in and give him his inhaler and/or a little medicine.

Now, if you come into my room and wake me up to give me medicine at 1AM there is a good chance you will require immediate medical attention. Brady isn't like that. Sure, we get the occasional grumpasaurus rex, but most of the time the little guy is just plain happy. You believe that? I can't.

He had one of his coughing jags a minute ago so I went up to give him his medicine. I walked in his room and patted his back. He smiled at me and sat right up.

ME

Hey Bub. Here's your medicine and some water so you don't have to cough anymore.

BRADY
Is it the medicine that I like?

ME
(lying straight to his face) Yeah, well, yeah you like it.

BRADY
Oh, yeah..it's like the earache medicine that I like.

ME
Yeah, like that.

I hand him the medicine.(gulp, gulp, gulp) I hand him his water (gulp, gulp, gulp)

BRADY

I drinked it real fast Daddy.

ME
Yeah you did, great job pal.

BRADY

Yeah cause I'm a big guy.

ME
Yes you are buddy. You're awesome. Get some good sleep. I love you.

BRADY
I love you too Daddy.

Brady smiled and laid his head down on his Superman pillow. I hate that he is uncomfortable, but I enjoy our little midnight visits. I can't get enough of that boy.

Fake Meat

I like meat. I like rocks. I like rocks that look like meat. To me, this rock looks like my favorite kind of meat, a ribeye steak. Some may see a T-bone. Others may see a pork chop. To me it's a ribeye. Notice the marbling, which as we all know enhances the flavor and tenderness. This bad boy is bone-in, further enhancing the flavor. God, I am impressed with your craftsmanship in both the actual meat and your stunning recreation in stone. You're the man. Or I guess I am. You know what I mean. Nice work.

Overheard from the next room...

When I left the room, Jake and Brady were on the floor drawing on their Doodlepads. They were sharing their pictures and being model children. However, too good to be true happened and I heard them start arguing. Jake said something, then Brady said something and voices were raised. Then I heard this;

Stop it Jake. You, you...whatever you are!

Then I heard them both bust out laughing and as I walked in the room they are both rolling around laughing and saying;

You, you whatever you are!

All their fights don't end up like this but man, it's golden when they do.

Artsy Fartsy

We have been wanting to buy a painting to hang above the loveseat for a long time now. Cindy had the awesome idea to just let the boys paint one. Of course, I had to kick it up and demand it be on a premium canvas. Even so, for about 10% of the cost of a store bought painting, we have a priceless work of art to hang up now. The boys had a great time making swirls, stripes, planets, spiders, faces, houses, bunny rabbit tracks, swishes, swoops, and globs. Great job guys. You're the best.

No pressure

One more step towards complete ridiculousness. I painted some Ball, Strike, and Out indicators on the scoreboard. So now, no matter what, it always a full count with 2 outs. I still need to drill holes for pegs to hang the score cards on, but that will be later this weekend, or next. Tomorrow it's time to paint a "Hit it Here Bullseye". Jake is huge on calling his shot, so now he can try for a real target in center field. Brady, he's just thrilled if he can make good contact so he can run the bases at breakneck speed. That's my team. We can hit the long ball, hit for average, and take extra bases. Defense...iffy at best. So, I guess we are an American League team.

Boys, the fun (and the obsession) is just beginning. I love you guys.

A little potty humor

I mentioned earlier the trouble we have been having with the master bath tub faucet. Not a big deal. Moen's are easy enough to fix. Easy enough if you stumble upon the right web page. Before I found the right one, I found one that was just OK. However, after their advice on how to fix it, there is a comment section and one comment in particular had me rolling;

At 8:59 AM, 9/13/2006, Fred said: Everytime I use the upstairs crapper it shows up in my kitchen sink. Is this bad plumbing or my disturbed teenager?

If I were Fred.....I would move and/or fire the teenager. I can imagine the first time this happened. "Alright, who's the wiseguy who took a dump in the sink?"

Ohhhh boy. The power of the internet.

Secrets..little secrets

I can't say much about it now, but last week I got started on something that I have wanted to do for a very long time. It's really too early to tell how far it will go, but I will say it looks good for now. No matter what happens with it, I'm glad I started doing it. If you are a very close friend or relative go ahead and shoot me an email and I will share it with you. In fact, I need to share it with you. Just not here.

Boys, you two are a major inspiration in why I wanted to start doing this. Thank you for just being you. I love you. Cindy, thanks for the encouragement. You've always got my back even if you are shoving me off a cliff to certain doom. I love you.

I just realized how the first part sounds, so here's some answers before a lot of FAQ's.

-No, I'm not going into rehab... should I be?
-No, I didn't start "offing" child abusers...but if you are one, watch your back, I could change my mind at any time.
-No, I am not running for President...I am only 30.
-No, it does not involve training for,or entering, any food consumption competitions.
-Yes, it involves that thing you think I am good at, and have been telling me to do for several years. Happy now?

Something new

Every once in a while I like to break from our normal routine. Instead of having a little lunch at home before preschool today, I decided to take the boys on a little road trip. I thought it would be cool to get a little hot dog lunch from the gas station and then eat it while we drove through the car wash. I have a simple mind, what can I say?

When we got there the car wash was broken but I figured we were already there so what the heck...lets still do lunch. I'm telling you, we have been some pretty neat places the last couple years, but I have never seen Brady as excited as when he walked inside the gas station. "Hey they got hot dogs! Hey they got chips! Hey they got ICEE's! Hey they got cold burritos!" Jake was a little less excited and at one point even tried to calm the B-man down. "Yes Brady, they have candy treats, but we aren't getting those we are getting lunch." Oh and I should mention that Brady was doing his famous Irish jig the whole time. The lady behind the counter was laughing at/with him. They each got to choose their own bag of chips. Jake had Frito's. Brady got Cheetos. Wise choices both. Then they chose their ICEE's. Jake had blue raspberry. Brady, orange. Then we did our best not to spill anything as we took the scenic route to school. Good times.

There's Monsters on the stairs...AHHHH!

You come to our house on any given day and there is a good chance you're gonna see a toy positioned strategically somewhere on or near the stairs or banister. Plus there's also a good chance that if the boys are upstairs, and you aren't keenly aware of where you walk, you run the risk of being hit by a free-falling GI JOE, on his way to battle behind enemy lines. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Look what the Easter Bunny left us...

The boys were excited for the ol' furfoot to come by this year. All this week it has been talk of bunnies and eggs and candy and par-tay's. Well, we got the bunny, egg, and candy part done this morning. Sleepy faces make for cool pictures.

After breakfast the boys got to hunt some eggs that wacky Easter Bunny hid on the baseball field. He cleverly took advantage of the fact that I didn't use the edger this week, to hide a ton of eggs in the tall grass along the walls. I almost messed it up for him by forgetting to shut the timer off for the sprinklers, but his eggs were fine, if a little damp.

Easter eggs

The dudes went all out with the eggs this year. What started out as a well choreographed dance between eggs and food coloring, soon turned in to a free-for-all. Painting with fingers beats dunking eggs in little cups anyway.

Monsters, Inc.

This was a dadgum great time. I don't wanna say it was better than the Wiggles, but...it was WAY better than the Wiggles. If it's coming to your city, by all means, sell some of your kids toys if you have to and get tickets to it. Jake and Brady had a blast.

Where's Waldo?

Again, with the stuffed animals. When will they outgrow these things? You wanna know the sad part? At least 3 of those are mine. Man I'm lame.

On to better things

The last post was a little dark, even for me. Sorry about that. It had to be done regardless.

Soooo, it's getting pretty dadgum hot around here. Hot enough to bust out the pool already. Of course, Brady would've gotten in the pool in December, but hypothermia isn't as much fun as he thinks it is. The guys had a great time splashin' it up and getting ten kinds of wrinkly. We even worked in a little barefoot baseball practice. This...is the good stuff.

I don't understand

We live in a big city with all the ups and downs that come with it. Lately it seems the downs have been outnumbering the ups. I can handle traffic. Once you learn the detours around it, it's really no big deal. Pollution, well it just isn't going anywhere and I am part of the problem so...whatever. Housing costs are outrageous, but they aren't as bad as some of our neighboring States. Schools, well they aren't bad as long as you live in the right area.

I can take all of these things and brush them off as if they aren't even there. What I can't take is the crime. Now, I'm not naive to the ways of people in large groups. Any time a few million people cluster together it's gonna get nasty. I realize that. I expect there to be burglaries and drug trafficking and a little organized crime thrown in for good measure. That I can handle. What brings me down and makes me want to move is the crime against children in this State.

It seems as though we don't go more than a day without hearing about some heinous crime committed upon a helpless child. Most of the time they are victimized by someone in their own family. Every time I hear about another child neglected, sold into prostitution, beaten, thrown away, molested, or killed, I lose a little faith in my fellow man. My soul turns black for a while. I want to rage against these people. Lock myself in a room with them and let my anger flow from my fists, feet, elbows, and knees. I want them to not exist. I don't believe in rehabilitation for these people. I don't buy it. It's a lie and everyone knows it.

I want to hide my sons from all this. Hold them in my arms and shield their eyes and hearts from what is around us. I want to move somewhere pure and clean and free from this scourge. Where is that though? Not here. Not there. That place doesn't exist on any map. There are bad people wherever you go. I have to somehow get them to do what I fail to do so often; find the good in every situation, focus on the good. To shield them from all of this tragedy would be doing a great disservice to them later in life. It's more wise to teach them how to handle their fears than to run from them. Yeah...it's all so easy.

Boys, I am trying my best to figure this World out one little piece at a time. I may not always have the answers, but don't ever hesitate to ask the questions. If I can't figure it out we can ask this guy I know. He lives up above the clouds. Cool robe. Beard. Lots of answers to impossible questions. Digs carpentry. You've seen pictures.

I love you guys. Forever.