Up too late

I am up way too late because my brain won't shut off. This happens to me more than I care to think about. It's been that way for most if not all of my adult life. Heck I remember doing it as a kid too. I am a thinker/worrier what can I say? Now that I have a family, it hasn't gotten worse, just more intense.

As a young man, my thoughts revolved around some pretty trivial stuff. At the time my problems seemed earth-shaking. Girl trouble. School trouble. Baseball trouble. Oh the World was on my shoulders alright. If I knew then what I know now...

Now, I worry only about life as it pertains to my kids. Sure, I worry about my wife and her well being. Most of the time though it's the boys. Am I doing enough to protect them? Are they truly happy? Are they mad at me because I had to punish them? What does the future hold for them? What tragedies will they have to endure in their lifetimes? Am I preparing them enough for what the world can be like? Will they be good men? Will they be good fathers?

All this plus about a million "what if" scenarios run through my mind. I take my job as a Daddy more seriously than anyone can ever imagine. Maybe not though. Maybe this happens to most fathers. Heck, I hope it does. This is the most important job a man can have. If I fail at this, I am failing not only them, but generations to come.

See what I mean? I get way too wrapped up in my thoughts. The funny thing is, I like it. I like it because it means I am on the right path. I may not be doing much right, but I am trying to. Till the day I die boys, I will try and get it right for you. I owe you nothing less.